Paul,

An Idol is anything you find satisfication, joy, acceptance, significance, and worth that is not God.

"To 'sow to the flesh' is to pander to it, to cosset, cuddle and stroke it, instead of crucifying it...Every time we allow our mind to harbor a grudge, nurse a grievance, entertain an impure fantasy or wallow in self-pity, we are sowing to the flesh. Every time we linger in bad company whose insidious influence we know we cannot resist, every time we lie in bed when we ought to be up and praying, every time we read pornographic literature, every time we take a risk which strains our self-control, we are sowing, sowing, sowing, to the flesh. Some Christians sow to the flesh every day and wonder why they do not reap holiness."- John Stott, The Message of Galatians

Most seminary students go through a dry spell when the Bible is not fun and edifying to read anymore. What has happened is that the student creates a dichotomy between his academic life and spiritual life. Greek Exegesis, Grammar, and Philosophy becomes an academic discipline that is separated from the heart. This is very dangerous in seminary because the mind gets disconnected from the heart and vice versa. I need to rethink how I study at school, for all of life should be worship, including academic studies.

"Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly" Col. 3:16

This week is going to be so crazy. I am teaching at Wednesday Prayer meeting, Sunday School, and Preaching on Sunday. My greek exam is next tuesday and my two of my philosophy papers are due next week. I feel so overwhelmed! But the Lord reminds me that I should not be anxious about tomorrow, for each day has enough of its own troubles (Matt. 6:33-34).

"Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God" Romans 7:4

" The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil" 1 John 3:8

Through the death of Christ, I have been crucified along with him with my old sinful nature. I have a new life with Jesus Christ, to walk in the light as He is in the light. I am called from darkness into his marvelous light. Called to be free. Called to be holy. Called to be a co-heir with Christ.

Father,
Help me believe these precious promises that I might partake in the divine nature. Keep my eyes fixed upon you above all else. Help me seek your kingdom first and your righteousness. And when I stray, I pray your Holy Spirit would hit me with the rod of discipline to get me back on track. I love you Lord. You are my portion. Only you can satisfy my finite heart. I want to stand in awe of you. I want the whole earth to be filled with the glory of the Lord, your righteousness, your justice, your mercy, your grace. Protect this feeble sheep who needs your guidance daily.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.

Leviticus is one of the hardest books of the Bible to read devotionally, but I am actually enjoying it. The main theme I see in this book is that God is holy and his people are suppose to be holy. I am reminded of the bloody sacrifices that took place in front of the tent of the meeting. The animals were slaughtered in front of the congregation and burned up before the Lord as an pleasing aroma. God would not allow anything unholy or undefiled touch his presence. His wrath would consume the people if they did not present the sacrifice of atonement. Moreover, the priests needed to be consecrated properly before the Lord. Aaron's sons even died because they did not revere the Lord. I am reminded once again how I need to live a holy life, and that is only possible through the blood of the true lamb of God, Jesus Christ. I can enter God's holy presence because the blood of Jesus has made a way for me. Sanctify me completely Lord, body, soul, and mind. In Jesus Name, Amen.

1. Love the Family of God

"Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity" 1 Tim. 5:1-2

God has given me countless mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers at CFBC. I need to love them and honor them and provide for them.

2. Love my family

"But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially the members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" 1 Tim 5:8

My Christian testimony should not be inconsistent. Who I am at home, should be who I am at church, work, and school. I should care for my brother, mother, and father.

3. Love my Pastor

"Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching" 1 Tim. 5:17

I need to honor Pastor Ed. I need to encourage him and thank him for "ruling well." How can I honor him better in a way that glorifies God?

4. Love my Boss

"Those who have believing masters must not be disrespectful on the ground that they are brothers; rather they must serve all the better since those who benefit by their good service are believers and beloved" 1 Tim 6: 2

I need to go above and beyond at the workplace, especially because my bosses are believers. I should do everything to promote the well being of the businesses I work at. I should be a blessing to my employers, not a burden.

5. Love Contentment

"Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world." 1 Tim 6:6-7

Love simplicity. Do I really need to be rich to be happy? Do I need a better car? Do I need to have a bigger house? I am already rich in Christ. I do NEED some more BOOKS though. I can live in a sleeping bag as long as I have my books!

6. Love righteousness and the Faith

"But as for you, O man of God. Flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 tim 6:12-13

RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN FROM SIN!! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN TO RIGHTEOUSNESS, GODLINESS, FAITH, LOVE, STEADFASTNESS, GENTLENESS!! Defend the faith through my studies at seminary and live an exemplary life!

And dwelt among us.

Transcendence meets imminence in Jesus Christ. God above and beyond becomes intimate and enters his creation that He created. God becomes all in all in the person of Jesus Christ. The unique One, becomes aquainted with our sorrows and our griefs. The Creator God lays down his life for fallen humanity lost in darkness. The Light of the World becomes forsaken so that he might turn men from the darkness to the Light. The Creator enters creation in the Incarnation. Divine meets humanity, Infinite meets Finite. The Incarnation of the Son of God blows my mind. It shows me that the Creator loves me. He became like me. He made me. He layed down his life for me that I might be filled with his fullness. Mercy, Justice, Grace, Faithfulness, Sovereignty, Wrath, Goodness, and Patience all come crashing in the cross of Christ, the blazing center of the Glory of God.

Father in Heaven,
Thank you that you have made me your child through my Lord Jesus Christ. Be near to me. Help me stand in awe of the Word became flesh. Grant me a worshipping heart.
In the Word's Name, Jesus Christ, Amen.

I've been so thankful these past weeks and reflecting on how God's love of me is relentless and persistently divine. God sees all my wickedness, darkness, shame; yet He still pursues me. My greatest confidence of His pursuit of me is in Jesus Christ. God sent His Son into the world to become my curse, shame, guilty, darkness, wickedness, sin, and wrath bearer. I have new life now because my old self was nailed to the cross with Christ and I have been raised with Christ by the power of His resurrection. I love that old hymn, "When Jesus is my portion...a constant friend is He...His eye is on the sparrow, and I know that He watches me...I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free"

Lord Jesus,
I love you. I thank you that you love me despite my failures and shortcomings. You captivate my heart. Even when I stray from you, you will not let your sheep go. I'm so sorry for messing up so many times. Your love is amazing. Lord Jesus, you are my portion. Whom do I have in heaven besides thee? Transform me by your divine love. In your precious name, Amen.

"Let what will be in the way, heaven is what he must and will obtain, not if he can without difficulty, but if it be possible. He meets with temptation: the devil is often whispering in his ear, setting allurements before him, magnifying the difficulties of the work he is engaged in, telling him that they are insuperable, and that he can never conquer them, and trying all ways in the world to discourage him; but he still presses foward." Jonathan Edwards.

I have to lay down everything to follow Christ. I must press on and continue to focus my eyes on Jesus. Lord, make your voice stronger in my Spirit. May your Spirit dictate my thoughts. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Proverbs 29:18
Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but blessed is he who keeps the law

I love this quote from Kent Hughes in Disciplines of a Godly Man:

Leadership must have a dream, a vision, a mental image, a precise goal of what is to be accomplished. Vision is the currency of leadership. A vision or dream must grab the leader, and when it does, it will pull others along. The challenge of leadership is so great today because modern man is dreamless. (169)

Father in Heaven,
Give me vision for your glorious and majestic kingdom found in your Holy Word. Captivate me O Lord. Help me see the Risen Lord of Glory.

For your Name's Sake,
Amen.

"So today, at the end of the twentieth century, we have a phenomenon unthinkable in any other century: churchless Christians. There is a vast herd of professed Christians who exist as nomadic hitchhikers without accountability, without discipline, without discipleship, living apart from the regular benefits of the the ordiances...The entire Christian Life is about commitment-first and above all to Christ, but also to the Church, to family, to marriage, to friendship, to ministry...Men, on the most elementary level, you do not have to go to church to be a Christian. You do not have to go home to be married either. But in both cases if you do not, you will have a very poor relationship." Disciplines of a Godly Man, Kent Hughes

If you love God, you will love God's people. If you are committed to Christ, you will be committed to Christ's sheep.

A healthy Christian commits to:

1. Regular Attendance of the Church (Understand the Priority of the Church)
2. Membership (View the Church as a Family)
3. Giving to the Church (Israelites gave about 25% of their income)
4. Participation (Serving, Teaching, Preaching, Leading)
5. Love and Prayer (Discipleship, Intercession, Servanthood)

It is interesting to see that the work of the tabernacle was to be done with excellence and precision. Everything in it, from the consecration of the priests, to the building of the altars, to the small details of purification showed that God is holy. Moreover, the Lord gave intelligence and wisdom to people constructing the tabernacle. So here I saw that its really not by wisdom that the work of the Lord is accomplished, but by the Spirit of the Living God. I was also blessed to see that God speaks. He speaks to Moses and to the children of Israel.

Another obersvation I saw was that the children of Israel took the Sabbath seriously. If anyone violated the sabbath, they were put to death (exodus 31:15). God takes his commandments seriously and the people of Israel were to take the commandments seriously. They were to show that they were God's chosen people.

Application:
I should be diligent to observe the commands of the Lord for my good and joy and for his glory. I should take the command to rest seriously. But my final rest is in Christ, who cried out on the cross, "It is finished" who showed that the true temple of God was Christ himself.

What made Jonathan Edwards such an effective preacher that caused the Great Awakening and Revival in America?

1. Edwards understood the Wrath of God

"They must be sensible that they are the children of wrath; that the law is against them, and that they are exposed to the curse of it: that the wrath of God abideth on them; and that he is angry with them every day while they are under the guilty of sin. They must be sensible that it is a very dreadful thing to be the object of the wrath of God; that it is a very awful thing to have him for their enemy; and that they cannot bear his wrath." (268)

2. Edwards understood the Justice of God

"The holiness of God will not suffer him to give the least countenance of sin, but inclines him to give proper testimonies of his hatred of it."

3. Edwards understood the free Grace of God

"But Christ having satisifed for sin, God can now love the sinner, and give no countenance at all to sin, however great a sinner he may have been...The whole contrivance of the way of salvation is for this end, to glorify the free grace of God." (271)

Before one can taste the beauty of Christ, he must see that he is in a miserable condition. That God's wrath is upon him unless he repents and puts his faith in the finished work of Christ. God's Holiness demands justice and payment of sins, which was done at Calvary. Once a sinner sees his miserable condition, acknowledges his helplessness, turns from his sins, and looks to Christ for pardon, then he receives forgiveness and magnifies the free grace of God on his behalf. Christ sacrifice was sufficient to cleanse the foulest of all sinners (Hebrews 10:13-14).

"The man who has this heart puts out for Christ and His Church. He is willingly inconvenienced. He allows his comfort zone to be invaded. Sometimes he will work to the point of exhaustation" (100)

"Big hearts, the enlarged hearts that God uses, are laboring hearts which, though weary, will willing be expended as necessary...Ministering hearts are disciplined to labor, for they regularly move beyond their comfort zones, they put themselves in vulnerable spots, they make commitments which cost, they get tired for Christ's sake, they pay the price, they encounter rough seas. But their sails billow full of God's Spirit" (197)

"D.L. Mood's bedtime prayer on one occasion, as he rolled his bulk into bed, was, 'Lord, I'm tired! Amen." (197)

"Cultivate a small heart and life may be smooth sailing, but you will never experience the exhilaration of the wind of the Spirit in your sails." (201)-Disciplines of a Godly Man, Kent Hughs

Man, how I needed to hear this. I was laughing after reading D.L. Moody's prayer, "Lord, I'm tired, Amen!" I have many of those prayers. I'm so thankful that God uses tiredness and suffering to sanctify my soul. I can get so bitter sometimes and tell myself, "I deserve better!", but the reality is that I deserve God's judgment instead. Yet, God sent his Son to face my judgment that I might now become a child of God and labor for Him and His glorious Kingdom. I thought being tired was being a bad thing, and in some sense yes when one does not retreat; but even our Lord was wearied when he talked to the woman at the well in John 4. Despite his weariness, the Lord still ministered to a broken woman when HE was the one that needed to be served. Instead, the Lord serves the woman (Mark 10:45). True Greatness lies in servanthood, being incovienienced, and laboring for the the kingdom of God.

Father,
Give me a big heart. While you enlarge the pain, enlarge the joy. Help me endure.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.

This weekend was a blessing. We started homeless ministry this saturday and it was a HUGE success. I was praying that God would lead us to the right people and he answered that! We saw homeless people at City Hall and gave them sac lunches. They were super friendly and directed us to Ganisha park where more homeless people stay. At Ganisha Park, we continued to pass out food and bless the people there. There is even an amphitheater there! So I was thinking we can start doing homeless ministry more consistently, bless the people there, and even start developing relationships with the people so that we can share the Word of God with them! I'm so glad that we get to apply the Word in this area in helping the oppressed.

Sunday service was a blessing. Pastor Sam preached on the sufficiency, power, and wisdom of Christ in healing Jairus daughter and the woman who touched his garments. Afterwards, I had small group meeting where we continued to discuss what it means to live on mission. Then went to Sierra View and I was blessed to have my lovely choir back me up in singing (i.e. Grandma and Monina) and taught on the seeking Savior and Zacchaeus in Luke 19, "For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the Lost."

The biggest blessing of the day was going to Tita Lilia's house and continuing vision casting for Amazing Grace Missions. We had good fellowship and new members added to the board. I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN WITH THIS PROJECT! "The Harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few." My dreams of the orphanage and the seminary are slowly acutalizing as we continue to plan, and my heart rejoices in the fact that I can be part of God's amazing mission to serve the oppressed, visit the orphan, clothed the naked, and bless less fortunate people! The Lord loves justice, mercy, and compassion. What does the Lord require of me? "He has told you, O Man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" (Micah 6:8)

Father in Heaven,
The devil is seeking to destroy me and my ministry. Please keep me from the Evil One. Help me be aware of his schemes and not fall for his lies and traps. Lord, you have great things in store for me. Keep me following the narrow way and lead me in the way everlasting. Help me flee from sin and distractions that keep me from looking unto you. God, help me. Teach me to number my days that I might get a heart of wisdom. Help me be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in your work knowing that my labor is not in vain.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.

Lord, lift the darkness. Touch my heart and help me be captivated by the grace of Jesus once again. Take my burden. Taken my discouragements away. Renew my stength. I am weak. In Jesus Name, Amen.

"And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life would lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole wolrd and forfeit his soul? For whoever is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels" Mark 8:34-38

There will always be a crowd of uncommitted followers and committed followers in the same group. Jesus describes a true disciple in this passage: A person who counts EVERYTHING as loss for the sake of knowing the suprassing greatness of Christ and the power of his RESURRECTION and the FELLOWSHIP of his SUFFERINGS. Here we see an apparent contradiction: in losing your life, you find your life, and in trying to save your life, you lose it. Why will you lose your life if you try to save it?? Some people try to save their life by their careers, relationships, money, material things. However, these things do not satisfy at the end of the day. Therefore, they lose their life pursuing something that never quenches a thirsty heart. But those who lose their life and give up everything for Christ FIND it. I have tasted glimpses of this truth. I gave up paintball, the Lord led me to finish up my Master's Degree in Philosophy. I gave up my friends, the Lord gave me a church family who loves me. I gave up my money, the Lord gives me the opportunity to bless others. I gave up popularity, I learn true greatness lies in serving. I gave up my idols, I got the true God who loved me and gave himself for me. Why would I want to be satisfed in the things that never brought satisfication. Only Christ, the fountain of everlasting living waters, can satisfy my dry soul.

Lord,
Help me not be ashamed of your words in this unbelieving, sinful, and adulterous generation. Help me be faithful to you, unto death. Let me know that you are with me. I can do all things through you who strengthens me. Help me be captivated by your beauty once again Jesus. Amen.

I have decided to follow Jesus, I have decided to follow Jesus, I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.

The cross before me, the world behind me
The cross before me, the world behind me
no turning back, no turning back.

Though none go with me, still I will follow
Though none go with me, still I will follow
no turning back, no turning back

I feel like I'm in a spiritual desert right now. Pastor Ed always says how lonely it can be sometimes pastoring and I can definitely relate to him. I can get so discouraged easily because I know that God is glorious and our worship of Him does not reflect that. I hate my sin, lukewarmness, cold-hard heart, and lack of gratitude for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't know what's going on in my spirit, but I have been crying out to God that he would deliver me from the season of dryness. I've been asking God to comfort me and be with me. I have knowledge of God, but I want to feel his presence with me. The lie that I'm constantly fighting is to settle for complacency, rather than EXCELLENCE. I want to be an athelete, running according to the rules, suffering for the gospel of God. There have been victories and there have been losses, but God is still faithful. I should not be like the Israelites, who in the wilderness, were grumbling and complaining to God. God was leading them through the wilderness to test them and see if they would follow the Lord with their whole hearts because God was going to lead them to the promised land. O Lord, please renew my spirit. I've been praying this for awhile, probably over a year now. I don't know if it is growing pains or my faith is being tried, but please deliver me from it. My soul is downcast. Renew me so I can praise you again. In Jesus Name, Amen.

"I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry." 2 Timothy 4:1-5

This is the job description of a young pastor that Paul is writing to. I love the pastoral epistles because I can relate to Timothy's struggles. I could be so timid, fearful, weak, and discouraged so easily. But Paul exhorts his younger son in the faith to "preach the word." Paul places significant emphasis on the Word of God. The Word has the power to convict, rebuke, reproof, and exhort (2 Timothy 3:16). Preaching in our age right now is "out of season." People do not like to hear about judgment, sin, wrath, and God's holiness. And I am choosing to an "out of season" position! But God, give me grace to follow you, for "you have the words of eternal life." "I can do all things through Christ" who strengthens me. Remind me of your grace and your faithfulness. Help me see the upward call you have for me in Christ Jesus, the highest calling a human can ever receive. C.S. Lewis quoting Augustine said, "The Son of God became man that he might enable men to become Sons of God." Christ humbled himself in the form of servant found in human likeness to share in my weaknesses and give me grace when I need help. Paul also exhorts Timothy to "endure suffering" in the ministry. There is no doubt that there WILL BE SUFFERING in the ministry. We live in a fallen world with rebellious sinners who turn away from the truth. I am so fearful of the suffering that will come, I know that there will be dark times and seaons of discouragement. But remind me of the cross. Remind me that there is hope in suffering and you do this to refine me and be more like you. There is resurrection three days later. Help me be sober-minded, in my thoughts, actions, and lifestyle. Help me be discplined and self-controlled so that I might be an honorable vessel used for your glory that I might magnify your marvelous grace. In Jesus Name, Amen.

1 Thessalonians 4:3
For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that you abstain from sexual immorality

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you

A Christian lives as a citizen of a heavenly kingdom, awaiting for the Coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. To make my calling more sure and God's choice of me, I should be striving for holiness. Paul argues that one of the marks of a true Christian is that he knows how to control his body in a honorable manner, abstaining from all sexual immorailty. Paul also commands us to rejoice always. Why? The Lord Jesus Christ died for our sins and he is coming back again not to bring wrath, but salvation (1 Thessalonians 5:10-11). To give thanks in all circumstances means that a Christian should be putting on the "new man" reflecting the likeness of God and trusting God for his providence, blessings, and the coming glory that is to be revealed. Pray without ceasing refers to a constant communion with the heavenly Father, so that I might be sober-minded for the sake of my prayers. Father, help me be conformed to your will more and more. In Jesus Name, Amen.

"Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work." 2 Timothy 2:20-21

I want to be an honorable vessel used by the Lord. If I want to be the Lord's instrument, I have to seek holiness, righteousness, and purity. I think one of the Devil's lies is that he wants me to settle for mediocrity and the normal American Dream of comfort; rather than radical servanthood that lays down my life for the gospel. I KNOW God has great things in store, but I must constantly fight the temptation to settle for comfort and make lesser things ultimate things. I need to resolve to fight the good fight of faith and to flee youthful passions and pursue rightousness, faith, love, and peace (2 Timothy 2:22). I have seen so many in the church settle for a cold lukewarm faith. Their Christian life is so boring, rather than exciting. They think that all Christianity is just a sunday event rather than reaching the NATIONS with the GOSPEL of God. They think its about personal comfort, rather than cross bearing sacrificial love. I DON"T WANT TO LIVE A LIFE OF COMPLACENCY! I DON'T WANT TO WASTE MY LIFE!

Father in Heaven,
Keep me from distractions. Keep me from sin. Keep me from foolishness. Not to us, but to your name be the glory. Help me be obedient to your will and grant me patience to fight the good fight of faith. As I wait for you, strengthen me and keep me from temptation and the Evil one. I want to be set apart and used by you. Give me a theology of beauty: that your are the most beautiful being that has ever crossed my mind. Help me see that your glorious, magnificent, all powerful, awesome, and wise beyond measure. Grant me to be faithful by your grace. Help me not settle for less, but strive to obtain excellence.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.

For freedom Christ has set us free, stand firmtherefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery Galatians 5:1

But far be it from to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Galatians 6:14

In his epistle to the Galatians, the dominant theme that runs through this letter is the concept of freedom in Christ. Paul is defending the gospel: the death of Jesus for our sins and his resurrection. Because Christ has come to be our curse-bearer, we can have a new life in Christ. We are new creation. We no longer have to live trying to earn favor or acceptance before God. The Judaizers were trying to earn their acceptance with God by their Sabbath observances, rituals, and practicing circumcision. Even Peter and Barnabas were being led astray by false human religion. But Paul argues in Galatians 2, that a man is not justified by works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. We are sinners and we need a sinless substitute to take our place. It was love for God and love for us that Jesus Christ went to the cross. Paul says, "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, Christ died for no purpose" (Galatians 2:20-21). It is really important to see that slaves try to earn favor before God. On the other hand, children are heirs with Christ through God's promise to Abraham.

In short, the gospel is about salvation by grace alone while all other false religions try to promote salvation by works. In the gospel we boast in the work of Christ on the cross while in false religion we boast in ourselves because of our human effort. Praise God for the gospel and the cross of my Lord Jesus Christ who loved me and gave himself for me. Amen.

Mark 1:35
And rising early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and and went out to desolate place, and there he prayed.

I am learning how it is important in my ministry to retreat from ministry. When I am not happy in God, ministry becomes duty and I become weak. But when I am happy in God, in my alone time with him, I find strength to declare his marvelous grace. The Lord ministers to my heart first before I can minister to others. Learning to say "no" is such an important lesson for all ministry leaders to learn. People can be demanding, emotionally draining, and your own sin creeping at the door to take you in your weakest moments. I need to be alone with God to remind myself of his forgiving grace and the death of his Son on my behalf and the power of his resurrection who is the One who lives and interecedes on my behalf. God has to fill me with His Holy Spirit.

Father,
Forgive me for grieving your Spirit. Forgive me for my failures as a leader. Forgive me for not looking to you to be my strength. Thank you for your unfailing love and your faithfulness. Remind me that I am loved by you despite my shortcomings because you sent your Son to be the propitiation for my sins. You command my sins and guilt to be washed away by the blood of your precious Son. Thank you for the gospel.

In Jesus name,
Amen

"Then the Lord said to him, 'Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.' But he said, "Oh, my Lord, please send someone else." Exodus 4:11-13

I got a lesson of humility during last Wednesday's prayer meeting. It was my turn to preach on the Parable of the Rich Fool. During my message, I was stumbling over my words and my thoughts were unclear. I started sweating and everyone noticed that I was so nervous. I wanted to finish quickly because I just wanted to be out of the spotlight. As I left prayer meeting, I ask the Lord, "What was that? Where were you Lord? I never want to do that again if you are not with me?" If I stand before God's people trusting my own wisdom, there will be no spiritual power and divine action. I need to trust God. I don't want to preach or teach if God will not go with me.

In this passage, Moses acknowledges that he is not an eloquent man. He does not want to do what God has called him to do. Yet, in the future, Moses will be one of the most eloquent preachers and powerful spiritual figures in all of biblical history. Why?

It was because God uses the weak to display his strength. God picks the nobodies to shame the strong. God doesn't choose people who trust in themselves. He chooses those who are broken, humble, and willing to listen to his voice.

Father,
I don't want to do anything if you don't go with me. What is the point? I will be humiliated or be in shame or puffed up in self-righteous pide. Don't make me do things where your not with me. I don't like it. Help me always be dependent on you. May I just be a vessel used for your glory, even if it means just teaching kids all my life. You use the weak, not the strong. You use the humble, not the proud.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

God reveals himself to Moses as the Great I AM. God hears the groanings of his people in Egypt. They are oppressed and sold into slavery. God also preserves the life of Moses. Moses fled into the wilderness because his own countrymen grumbled against him, yet God was with him. I found in interesting that God is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. What is significant about this is that God is a God of promises. God promised Abraham to bless him through his son and God came through. I am reminded once again that God keeps his promises to his people because of his character.

"He was delivevered over to death for our sins and raised to life for our justification" (Romans 4:25)

I got the opportunity to stay with Ed and Lilia Soledad this week because their family is out of town and they needed someone to watch them. It has been like a little mini retreat to me. We wake up, pray, eat breakfast, read our bibles, pray, eat lunch, read our bibles, and share our faith with one another. I love it!! The Soledad's house reminds me of a monastery where I can read books all day and pray and talk to tita Lilia about my future dreams in honoring the Lord.

I am so blessed by this woman's life. She is a godly humble servant who was one of the church planters of CFBC in her jewelry store. She is also a missionary and has planted the Amazing Grace churches. Just observing her life while I was with her really blesses me. Here are some insights I got:

1. Be Prayerful
Tita Lilia is always prayerful of whatever she does. Whether its reading her Bible, eating breakfast or even going out to run errands, she is soaked in prayer.

2. Love God's Word
She showed me her lesson plans and they are SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY notes from the BIBLE ALONE. She does not rely on commentaries, but on the Holy Spirit to reveal new truths to her in the sufficient and inerrant word.

3. Dream Big
We were talking about maybe the possibility of starting an orphanage and Christian school in the philippines. It only cost $10,000 to get a school building up on that beautiful island they steward for the Lord. That's only the cost of one year of my Talbot Tuition!! Lord, do great things!!

4. Lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

5. Let the Lord instruct me.
Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

6. Be Patient
Wait upon the Lord to renew my strength and lead me. Isaiah 40:31

7. Again, Be prayerful
Prayer shows your dependence on God. And I see it the life of Tita Lilia. She sees God's providence in all things. It is so encouraging. She definitely encouraged my faith this week.

"God sent me here" says Joseph. After being betrayed by his brothers, accused of sexual immorality, sent to prison, and forgotten, the Lord was with Joseph all along the way. Joseph rises to power in Egypt and becomes second in command. After many years, all the pain, hurt, and evil is made right when the Jacob's sons come to Egypt for the famine relief. Joseph weeps because he remembers all the pain he went through. Yet he still believes God is in control, sovereign, and good. "God sent me here." This is a profound statement that Joseph makes. He could've have said, "IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU THAT MY LIFE WAS TAKEN FROM ME!" Instead, he sees God's good pleasure and goodness worked through all the evil and suffering he experienced.

Fast foward to the New Testament. Jesus is betrayed, beaten, mocked, misunderstood, treated unjustly, and ultimately crucified. Jesus in one sense, says "God sent me here." He left the Father's throne to come to the "Egypt" of our sin cursed world. His Jewish brothers betrayed him. Christ hanging on the cross could have said, "IT IS BECAUSE OF YOUR SIN I AM HANGING HERE!" Instead, he says, "Father, forgive them." Christ sees God's good pleasure working through the evil of the crucifixion. Christ believes that God is in control, sovereign, and good.

Now, I am a child of God because God sent Jesus to the cross on my behalf. I meant for evil against God, but God meant it for good. Now Christ calls me to do the same to a lost world. When people mistreat me, abuse me, mock me, betray me; I can also testify, "God sent me here."

Oh, the depths of the riches of the wisdom of God. How unsearchable are his ways! How profound his wisdom!

Profound words, "God sent me here."

I am amazed with all the blessings that Christ has purchased for me. I have a right standing with God because Christ lives on my behalf. I am a child of God because of Christ. I have access to the God the Father through the Holy Spirit. I dread no condemnation because Christ was condemned for me. I fear no shame because Christ was shamefully treated at Calvary. I fear no guilt because the penalty of sin was dealt with at the cross. I am a heir of God because Jesus was made like his brothers in every way, yet without sin. AMAZING GRACE!

I've been realizing what A FOOL I have been by trying to fight sin in my own strength rather then to surrender to Christ. You cannot fight sin by your own will power, or what Paul calls the flesh. It is impossible because you are trusting in your own self to deliver you from the power of the law. Only in Christ is there freedom because we do not have to earn our salvation. I am already unconditionally loved by Christ and accepted by God the Father because of Christ work on my behalf.

It is really important to understand justification. Faith in God's righteousness always precedes my personal righteousness and sanctification. I have been learning that what you believe about God is really important. Do I believe that I am unconditially loved despite my sin? Do I believe that God accepts me by the merits of Christ alone? Am I trying to gain acceptance with God through my personal holiness, bible study, prayer, meditation? Or Do I believe that God calls me His beloved already because of the gospel: the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ?

Good works will come from BELIEVING RIGHT THINGS ABOUT GOD FIRST! Alex, believe the precious promises of God! "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his pprecious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire" (2 Peter 1:3-5)

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose. Galatians 2:20-21

Romans 13:13-14
Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, thing about these things.

Ephesians 6:16-18
In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perserverance, making supplication for all the saints.

Lord Jesus,
There really is a spiritual war out there. I need your grace to live a pure and holy life before you, pleasing. I know you have great things in store for me. Give my heart affections for you so that the things of the world will seem complete folly compared to the heavenly pleasures. Open my eyes to the reality of your Spirit. I need you Lord. Thank you for being my God. Thank you for being my first love. Thank you for your faithfulness despite my unfaithfulness. Thank you for taking my condemnation, guilt and shame at the cross. Thank you for the POWER of your Resurrection. I believe, help my unbelief.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

In prayer, real prayer, we begin to think God's thoughts after him: to deisre the things he desires, to love the things he loves, to will the things he wills. Progressively, we are taught to see things from his point of viee-Celebration of the Disciplines-Richard Foster

Listening to God is the necessary prelude to intercession...We must hear, know, and obey the will of God before we pray it into the lives of others. Celebration of the Disciplines-Richard Foster

• God, Philosophy, and the University by Alasdair MacIntyre
• Celebration of the Disciplines by Richard Foster
• Genesis/ 2 Corinthians
• Grounded in the Gospel by J.I. Packer
• Gospel Christianity Notes by Tim Keller
• Tactics by Gregory Koukel
• The Lord's Prayer by R.C. Sproul

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the way of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers,
But his delight is on the Law of the Lord,
And on his law he meditates day and night-Psalm 1

Christian meditation, very simply, is the ability to hear God's voice and obey his word-Celebration of Discipline-Richard Foster

Christian meditation is an attempt to fill the mind...Christian meditation leads us to the inner wholeness necessary to give ourselves to God freely, Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster

Otium Sanctum means "holy Leisure." Foster aruges that it is a sense of balance in the life, and ability to be at peach through the activities of the day, an ability to rest and take time to enjoy beauty, and ability to pace ourselves (27). Our churches lack a deep experiental knowledge of God. We do not know how to commune with the living God. We do not know how to walk in day to day life with God. Instead, we have an external righteousness that lacks substance, depth. I picked up Foster's book to help me cultivate my intimacy with God. Distractions, Business, and Ministry crowd out me sitting at the Lord's feet, opening my heart to him, and learning from Him.

Why do Christians lack growth and fall into lukewarmness? (1) We harden our hearts because we have become "dull" of hearing the Word. As the apostle James says, We should be "doers" or the Word and not only "hearers" lest we deceive ourselves. Here are some important princples I learned from reflecting on this time:

1. Stop
Find places where you are not distracted from emails, phonecalls, people, and work. Be consciously telling yourself that this time you have is to have One on One time with the Lord.

2. Be Comfortable
Find a place where you can meditate freely. For me, this is the beach, my backyard, and my room in the evening.

3. Open Your Heart
Tell the Lord what is really going on in your heart: Anger, Betrayal, Anxiousness, Hurt, Pain, Joy.

4. Listen to God
Ponder on the Scriptures. Ask God to show wonderful things in His Law.

Application:
Morning Times-I get so distracted in the morning. The first thing that pops into my head is that I need to go running or get ready for work. I also want to check my email, facebook, or bank account before I start reading my Bible.

Afternoon-I rarely spend times with God in the afternoon. I get caught up with studying or meeeting with people or preparing lessons.

Evening-I believe this is my most important time of the day. I normally reflect in the Scriptures in Genesis. Playing Worship Music relaxes me. In other words, here are times where I am able to contemplate and open up my heart to God.

Lord, grow me in becoming more intimate with you. Open my heart to recieve your word. I confess to you that I have hardened my heart and have stop listening to you because I have become "dull" of hearing because I have been so "busy" serving you. Help me stop, think, reflect, and listen once again.

Thank you for grace, In Jesus Name, Amen.

Think: The life of the Mind and the Love of God: October 1-3, Minnieapolis, MN

2011 The Shepherd's Conference: March 9-13 Los Angeles, CA

2011 The Gospel Coalition: April 12-14 Chicago, IL

2011 Philippines Summer Mission Trip.

God, please provide the funds!!!

God gives coherence to all things. The Trinune God is the only reasonable explantion: One God manifested in three persons. God is one in essence, three in persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Jesus said: "I and the Father are One" John 10:30

a. The Body of Christ.
One Spirit, many members. One Spirit, many gifts.

b. Univeristy.
One unifying Discipline (Theology), many diverse disciplines (Biology, Philosophy, Cosmology, Physics).

c. Essay.
One unfiying thesis, many main points that support the thesis.

d.Marriage
One flesh, yet two distinct persons: Male and Female

e. Sermons
One main unifying propostion, diverse main points.

f. Family
One family, different members: Father, Son, Children.

g. Art
One portrait, yet diverse color schemes and strokes of paint.

h. My Christian Relationship.
I am not God. Jesus did everything in obedience to the Father. Jesus accomplishes my salvation. When I obey Christ, I abide in Him, and therefore am one with Christ as Christ is one with the Father. There is the mystery of plurality and unity.

Romans 12:4-8
For as one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts taht differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them; if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contibutes, in generositiy; the one who lead, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

There is no such thing as a "Super-Christian." The only super Christian who had all the gifts was Jesus, who was God.

For me, I was called into one body with specific gifting. I cannot do everything. It will cause burn out. Here are some important questions I need to think about before considering my calling:

1. Is there a desire for me to preach the pure word of God?
2. Does the community of God affirm this gift?
3. Is this something I cannot live without doing?

Everything is still unclear to me right now. I am young and inexperienced. I am not mature and do not have enough life experiences to minister to my full capacities.

What do I love to do??

a. Teaching
I love teaching. I love teaching Sunday School classes in Apologetics, Bible, Theology, and Philosophy. I love interaction with students to get them thinking deeply of why they believe what they believe.

b. Studying
I find joy in reading. I love books. To love God, you must have to know Him. You have to know his likes and dislikes, his passion and his hatred for sin. You must think right thoughts about God for you to honor him. I can spend all day reading my Bible, books in Theology, Philosophy, and whatever interests are at the moment.

c. Preaching??
Not so sure. It takes a lot of work to be a deep preacher. You have to be immersed in prayer, be captivated by God's Word, transformed by it, and share it with others. I don't know, preaching is a high calling as you stand as a herald of God to correct, rebuke, reproof, and encouraged with the Word of God.

d. Defending (Jude 1:3, 2 Corinthians 10:3-5)
Ideas have consequences. You are what you believe. A godless generation is rising because they do not know how to discern good from evil. They do not know how to critique false beliefs and gain true wisdom and understanding. I want every thought of my to be taken captive to the Word of God and obedience of Christ.

e. Shepherding??
I have failed many times in this area. I lack empathy and compassion at times. I sin by not listening to people. I fail to be sensitive. I need God's grace in this area of my life.

What now?
Right now, God is working even though everything is unclear to me. I know God has great things in store for me in the future. I just need to be faithful and have an enduring Spirit. God has me at the pefect place at the perfect timing. I am a student who gets to study philosophy and theology at seminary. I am also a teacher who gets to teach friday bible studies, sunday school, small groups, prayer meetings, and local outreaches.

Father,

Help me use the gifts you have given me for the edification of your church for the glory of your name. When praise comes to me, let it always be directed to the cross of calvary. To God be the glory both now and forevermore. Amen.

1. Why was this exegetical idea necessary for its original recipients?

2. What is God revealing about Himself in this text? (Godward)

3. What is God saying to ME in this text? (Application/ Inward)

4.What does God want to accomplish through this text?

5.What could negate the progress I have just made through this text?

taken from Deep Preaching

I have been trying to fight my sin and temptations in my own strength and I find out I fail miserably. I keep resolving to "try again" and try better but always end up coming short. I am reminded once again that I am a sinner. There is nothing righteous or good or lovely in me because I have rebelled against a holy and pure God. The only thing that is going to help me fight sin is reminding myself of the gospel and the full forgivness of Jesus Christ and his full atonement.

Jesus came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. He came to give his life as a ransom for many. He went to calvary, shed his blood, was buried, and three days rose again. By the power of his indestructible life, he lives forever as a High Priest who intercedes on my behalf. Not only that, he is coming back again to save us, "For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him" (1 Thessolonians 5:9). In other words, Jesus accomplishes salvation for us in the past, present, and future. How I need his present work to save me from the weakness of my flesh. I hate the guilt, and shame, and failures of sin. I hate griveing the Holy Spirit. I hate dishonoring the Lord. I find myself weak when I am not captured by grace.

I am glad that my salvation is not ultimately depended on my love for God, but God's love for me in Christ. My love fluctuates, His love remains the same. I change, God does not change. I am wretched, He bore my wretchedness on the cross. I am guilty of sin, he bore my guilt on the cross. I have shame, He was left naked on the cross to take my shame. I feel abandoned when I sinned, He was abandoned by the Father so that the promise "I will never leave your nor forsake you" will come true for in my life.

Father in Heaven,
Please forgive me of my sin. Forgive me for not living the life I should live. But thank you that Your Son lived the life I should have lifed. Thank you that he died the death I should have died. Thank you for his merciful blood that washes me and makes me holy and blameless and above reproach. Thank you for the gospel.

In the name of the Living Savior who is my High Priest,
Amen.

Great preaching starts with a great relationship with God.
Godliness starts with a great relationship with God.
Love for the Church starts with a a great relationship with God.
Love for believers starts with a great relationship with God.
Love for the lost starts with a great relationship with God.
Love for my family starts with a great relationship with God.
Love for the oppress starts with a great relationship with God.
Hatred for sin starts with a great relationship with God.
Hatred for unwise spending starts with a great relationship with God.
Hatred for selfishness starts with a great relationship with God.
Hatred for wasted time starts with a great relationship with God.

Everything starts with a great relationship with God. Just as human relationships need to be cultivated and maintained, how much more my relationship with God. Why do I feel weak spiritually? LAZINESS has made me become dry. I use to be attentive and was passionate to read the Scriptures and Pray and Memorize. But the relationship becomes dull when you forget doing the things you once did at first. Just as in romantic relationships, people forget to be kind and loving when they are married for awhile. Same thing with God. God desires me to find him fresh in new ways everyday and have my love for him increase daily.

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments." John 14:15

During my devotional, I was reminded that God is faithful. God had promised Abraham to make his name a blessing to all nations and to grant him offspring as great as the stars in the heaven. However, Abraham wavered in his faith before God. God promised Abraham a Son, and Abraham was becoming unsure of God's promise as he grew older. When Sarah started doubting, she asked Abraham to sleep with Hagar. So Abraham agreed. And Ishmael was born and Hagar was neglected.

We all know the story. God did come through with his promises. Sarah eventually became pregnant and had a child named Isaac. I was reminded that I should not doubt God's goodness and promises. Whatever God says, he will do; even if it does not make sense to us. More than that, God's promises is not ultimately depended on our faithfulness, but his faithfulness and character.

What promises can I believe now that seem hard to believe? God works out everything for good on our behalf, even the evil I have suffered. God promises to raise me from the dead because of Jesus Christ's Resurrection. God promises to present me blameless and above reproach and holy because of the death of Jesus Christ and his reconciling work. God promises to give me strength in weakness.

God, overcome my unbelief. Help me believe your promises and that you are good. In Jesus Name, Amen.

The primary duty of a Christian is not service, evangelism, ministry, or social justice; but worship. In other words, the primary duty of a Christian is to be happy in God. Why do we sin? We sin when we are not happy in God. We look for earthly pleasures when we are satisfied with godly pleasures.

I have seen in my life that even good things such as service, ministry, and evangelism can crowd out God. My duty as a Christian is to get my soul satisfied in Jesus Christ. To remember what he has done for me. That he has reconciled me to the Father through his atoning sacrifice at the cross. That I am guilt-free and there is not condemnation for me because of Christ (Romans 8:1).

Christian service, evangelism, ministry, and social justice will flow from a heart that is grateful in God (Eph 2:10). I do not have to earn my salvation because Jesus has already accomplished it at Calvary.

When I was a non-believer, I needed to repent of my immorality. Now, as a believer, I need to repent of my righteousness. Preaching, teaching, serving, and leading are not good indicators that you are close to God. In fact, it can be a disguise for self-righteous moralism. I am close to God because of Jesus. It is not Jesus plus something. It is Jesus alone by his grace alone. I am the beloved child of the Father because Jesus has done his work on my behalf and continually does it as my High Priest. He is my greater older brother. He is my greater prophet. He is my greater example. He is my Substitute. He is my divine lover. He is my God.

Here are some more great insights I got from Deep Preaching.

Meditation
There is a significant coorelation between great preaching and meditation. If I want to be godly, I have to meditate on the Word. As Kent Edwards says, it is easy to read the bible like how we eat 99 cent cheesburgers. I read my Bible in the morning as water flows through a pipe. It does not get the chance to settle in my mind throughout the day. The text has to be chewed over and over again until it becomes part of me. I have noticed that my Scripture reading has not been carried over to the rest of my day. Instead, I have comparmentalized my scripture reading to a morning and evening block without every affecting my daily life. In other words, I need to carry my scripture reading with me throughout the day.

Prayer
The Pharisees prayed, but not the way Jesus prayed. It is so easy just to pray before meals, a Bible Study, and Sunday Service. But if I am not nurturing a daily prayer life the way I breathe oxygen, then I have become like a Phariseee. When I am prompted to pray by the Holy Spirit, I must speak my mind to God. God, help me fight this sin. Lord, what would you have me do? Forgive me for being unkind. Teach me your thoughts. Be with me today. How does what you spoke with me this morning have to do with my situation right now as I work and study?

I bet the reason why our church is so lukewarm is because we don't pray and meditate on the Word. I am guilty of this as well. The apostles gave up a noble task (feeding widows) in Acts 6, to devote themselves to the priority of the Word and Prayer. We are spiritually immature because we do not spend time with the Son of God. We do not hear his voice in the pages of Scripture. Instead, we let facebook, emails, phonecalls, adminstration, and events crowd out the "closet work" of alone time with God.

Forgive us Father, help us spend time with you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

"Great preaching begins with a great relationship with God. It is impossible for a preacher to compensate for a relationship that has gone cold for the 'mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.'"- J Kent Edwards, Deep Preaching

"Do you want God or God's blessings? Do you want personal advancement or personal intimacy with God? Your honest answer to these questions will have a major impact on how you preach"

"God does not pastors or churches that are not passionately in love with Him. The prerequisite to deep preaching is a deep and passionate relationship with God for whom we speak."

"The goal of the preacher must not be to have a successful ministry. It is not wrong for people to swell and applaud your ministry, but it is dangerous when they gegin to distract you from what is most important. When some measure of fame comes knocking, it often holds the door open for pride to pay you a visit."

"If you are not enjoying a deep relationship with your heavenly Father--and you want to preach deeply--then you have to fake it."

How can we be better preachers? We should not remember our passion for God, but God's passion for us in sending His Son to die for an unfaithful people. It is not our faithfulness that drew God to us, but God's faithfulness that drew Him to us. In other words, God's character is what loved a sinful people. God wants us to be passionate about Him. He does not want cold lukewarm hearts. He wants hearts that are on fire for Him.

How do we get this fire burning in our lives? By remembering the love of God and his passion for us. He left heaven to come to earth. He left glory to come to a suffering world. He lived a perfect life. He died a criminal's death. The primary goal of a Christian is to be happy in God. When ministry takes over intimacy with the divine lover, you have lost sight of why you are doing ministry. Here is a definition of sin: You love yourself more than you love God.

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments" John 14:15

God, consume me with a holy passion for you! Please!! FOR YOUR NAME'S SAKE!!!

• Read a Chapter of Biblical Greek a day.
• Finish Philosophy of Religion Paper
• Finish memorizing Colossians
• Memorize Jude
• Pay off debt and save $$

The Man of God...

(1) Flees Sin

I need to be relentless in running away from evil. There is no cowardice in running from things that dishonor the Lord. In fact, it is actually wise. Great illustration from Pastor Ed: When you meet a bear, you do not confront it. Instead, you RUN!!

(2) Pursues Virtue

I need to spend time in things that make an eternal difference. I need to be spending time in prayer, the Word of God, serving, worship.

(3) Keeps God's Commandments

Obedience to God waiting for the revealing of the Lord Jesus Christ.

(4) Fights the Good Fight

In a world of lies, as the apostle Jude declares, I need to earnestly "contend for faith" that was once delivered for all the saints. We take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and destroy every false idea and speculation raised up against the knowledge of God (2 Corin. 10:3-5).

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise." Psalm 51:17

I mess up so many times. I hate living a life of hypocrisy. I still feel the war that goes on within my soul everyday between the flesh and the Spirit of God. It is so easy to fall into unbelief and believe the lies of the devil. And when you sin, the devil immeditately comes to accuse you night and day, "Look at you, your abusing the grace of God", or "how can you lead people when you are so sinful," "You are living a double life", "God will not use you because of your sin, you need to be holy and blameless." This is how Christians fall into despair. This is how I fall into depression and do not want to serve God anymore because of my sin.

But how foolish of me to look to myself rather than Christ to cleanse me. "For the righteous falls seven times and rises again" (Proverbs 24:16). There really is a spiritual war going on everyday. We do not wrestle with flesh and blood, but with the spiritual forces of darkness (Eph 6). When Satan comes and tells me all these things, I need to say, "You are right, I am guilty. I am unworthy. But I have an advocate with the Father. I have One who has satisfied the wrath of God on my behalf. In other words, I have the risen Savior who stands on behalf of my failures and shortcomings. God can accept my failures because Christ did not fail. Christ can take my sins that I commit because he died on the cross for me. Flee from me Satan in Jesus Name!"

Father in Heaven,
Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

By the grace and blood of Jesus, make me righteous,
Amen

• What is Faith? By Gershem Machen
• Preaching with Passion by Alex Montoya
• Deep Preaching by Kent Edwards
• Tactics by Greg Koukel
• The Emotionally Healthy Church
• By Grace Alone by Sinclair Ferguson
• Basics of Biblical Greek by William Mounce
• Philosophy of Religion by William Lane Craig

SUMMER READING HERE I COME!!

Maturity in life is when someone is living joyfully within their God given limits

Much of burnout is a result of giving what we do not possess

Christian leaders all too often allow themselves to be disrespected, allowing people to speak to them and about them in ways that are inappropriate-Emotionally Healthy Church

These quotes really spoke to my heart. I have been a horrible steward of maintaining boundaries these past two years. I thought I could do everything. I really love Jesus and want to serve Him in anyway I can. But I do not possess all the gifts. God has given me limits so that the body may function properly. I felt like I needed to go after every straying member, disciple every person, and teach constantly while at the same time working and going to school full-time.

Alex, it's ok to say no. You are not god. God is good and sovereign. It is not what you do for God that brings you salvation. It is what Christ has done for you. You must serve of out gratitude found in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Lord, teach me to say "no" and embrace my limits and set proper boundaries. If your Son said "no" to people, how much more do I who is flawed and sinful? Teach me to trust you and really discern what my gifts and joy are. In Jesus Name, Amen.

We live in a fallen world. Furthemore, we are sinful human beings needing grace everday. No one is perfect (Romans 3:23). How can we endure the crazy trials of life? How do we deal with financial, marital, familial, and spiritual brokeness?

WORSHIP. I need to understand the work of my Savior. He came into this world to free me from the bondage of self, the flesh, and the devil. I need to look at him who was crucified for me. I need to find my satisfaction in His love above all earthly pleasures. I sin and fall so many times. But I can rest assured that my Jesus has loved me and gave his life for me. At the cross, I can come back asking for forgiveness for my moral and spiritual failures. I can embrace God the Father because Jesus was the revelation of the Father (John 14:6). I can come to the Father because Jesus died on my behalf to make me holy and blameless and above reproach before him.

Lord, teach me to worship. In Jesus Name, Amen.

I do not need anything except Christ. It's when the gospel becomes theoretical and my heart becomes cold, dull, and calloused when I start seeking for lesser things. Sin is so enticing and deceptive. Why does it seem so pleasurable at times? I think it's because I do not have a healthy theology of suffering and the cross. I want short term gratification rather than suffer in obedience. But when I give in to whatever sin, it ALWAYS leaves me empty and wanting more. It's so crazy to see that the Christian life is one of growth, sometimes very painful. I do not like my sin and hypocrisy, I hate it. I want to be completely obedient to the Lord and lay down my life for him. However, Peter said the same exact thing and left the Lord. Peter was very sincere, but sincerely wrong. He trusted in himself. Only Jesus can transform a sinner like me. Only Jesus can give me strength.

Lord, as you prayed for Peter's faith not to fail, please pray for me as well. I think I can do things apart from you, but the curve balls of life show me otherwise. Would you keep me? Would you use me? Would you become more real to me? You desire truth in the innermost parts. Search me and know my heart, see if there is any wicked way in me.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

I just watched the film Living in Emergency: Stories of Doctors Without Borders and it was a slap to my face. I have been disillusioned with living in America nelgecting the injustice of millions of people around the world. How can I just sit here comfortly thinking about my own career, my success, and future when there are millions around the world living in poverty?? This movie brought me back to my missionary experiences in the Philippines and Colombia and reminded me that there are many oprhaned children who have no medical resources, money, and do not ultimately have Christ. Satan is so deceptive and smart to make the American church fall asleep and settle for pleasure, entertainment, and comfort. John Piper's book title puts it well, Don't Waste Your Life. I do not want to waste my life and stand before the Lord on Judgment Day hiding my talents in the ground and not using it for his glory.



This movie also reminded me to not waste my money foolishly. How can I live in luxury when that money can be used to fight oppression and injustice? I am ashamed of myself for being seduced by the comfort of the American Dream. I say I hate it outwardly, but it lures the innermost parts of my heart. CHANGE MY HEART GOD! OPEN MY EYES TO REALITY OF INJUSTICE IN THE WORLD. I cannot be your disciple if I do not forsake all: posessions, family, wealth, career, success, and marriage to do what you are calling me to do. Please forgive me for being complacent.



I need to stop having a theoritical theology, and have an applied theology of action. James puts its very clear that a faith that does not show no works is not a faith at all. James says, "religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world" (James 1:27).

If I want to be used by the Lord, I have to count the cost. I have to see that Christ calls me to die to myself and take up a cross of suffering. Christ becomes real when we experience the fellowship of his sufferings and walk a lonely road. But there is a Resurrection three days later.

God, I am tired of theorizing about you. I am tired of being just a hearer. I am discontent with my own walk. I am such a talker and not a doer. Please change this. Please give me perpective. Please give me vision. Please give me a greater obedience to you. Help me see what you see. Help me know you from my heart, not my head. Teach me and lead me and help me ACT. I am so complacent and lukewarm. Help me steward your money wisely.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

I learned today how much I need to be in the Word. The Word is what sanctifies me and conforms me to the image of Christ as I behold the glory of the Savior. I was also reminded that I need to spend much Secret Time with the Lord. My passion for God on Sunday will show how passionate I was during the week. If I am only passionate about God on Sunday, I will end up living a double life, which is hypocrisy. Professor Saucy also said that WORSHIP will keep us from sin. This is so true. Sin blinds so that we end up desiring trash rather than infinite treasures of delight in God.

How can I be a better worshipper of God?

1. Listen to Music that exalts Him
2. Spend time in Secret with Him
3. Ask Him to open my heart to receive His Word
4. Acknowledge my emotions before Him and not suppress them.
5. Embrace the Cross as the sufficient and display of God's grace to me a sinner.
6. Ask things from God boldly because Christ has purchased my acceptance before Him.

What do I love to do? I need to figure out and specify my passion in where God wants me to serve Him. Well, I love how early theologians were not only committed to their local church, but were pastors, professors, scholars, philosphers, theologians, scientists, mathematicians, conselours, evangelists, apologists, and godly men. It is abosultely amazing to see how brilliant early theologians were like Augustine, Calvin, and Luther.

I think I am called to be a Christian apologist (2 Cor. 10:3-5). I love TRUTH. I love how UNCHANGING TRUTH IS. I love REVEALED TRUTH. God has made himself known in history, archeology, science, and the person of Jesus Christ. I confident that the claims of Christianity can stand the attacks of skepticism.

Secondly, I also love to teach the Word of God. The Word of God is life-transforming. It has changed my life and has changed the lives of millions throughout history. As the Psalmist says, "I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation, I understand more than the aged, for I keep your precepts" (Psalm 119:99-101).

Third, I love the the local church. The local church is sanctifying me and has been a great joy to be in fellowship with the saints bought with the blood of Christ, and indwelt by the Spirit of God.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the way of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of scoffers,
But his delight is in the Law of the Lord,
And on his law he meditates day and night.

I have been neglecting my meditation time because of the busy-ness of life. School and Ministry have crowded out my prayer time and personal bible study. But I am realizing that meditation on the Word of God is essential to my spiritual growth and spiritual health. I have already seen the fruits of my past meditations, how much more do I need to seek after an infinite eternal God that I will never figure out? God, grant me a desire for Your Word. Your Word keeps me from sin, keeps me close to the Savior, and gives me wisdom that no human philosophy can destroy, for the knowledge of God's mystery is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Help me become a doer of the Word, and experience the reality of your unchanging truth.

Father, what are you calling me to do? How do you want me to apply your Word? What areas have you opened to practice mercy, kindness, justice? Grant me wisdom.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Summer school has started and I am taking Theology I, which is Doctrine of the Word and Doctrine of God. I was so amazed to see how incomprehensible, mind-blowing, and awesome God is. I was worshipping in class and was seeing what a privelege for me to studying theology. I learned again that the creation of the University was to train Christian men in practice and godliness. University comes from two words, Unity and Diversity. What united all the different disciplines (i.e. biology, physics, cosmology, anthropology, philosophy) was Theology, which was the highest discipline one could study in the University. Today, the university system has a completely different mindset of how to train people. Today, people can be an expert in a specific field, without having character and being "empty" inside. Earlier universities promoted not just knowledge, but wisdom, teaching people how to live life. Studying theology is so important because it is "training in godliness." Sound Doctrine and Teaching is suppose to lead people to godliness, not just give them intellectual assent. How I need to take doctrine seriously.

The irony of study theology is that the petri dish is the one studying the Scientist. The only way the petri dish can study the Scientist is if the Scientist reveals himself. And that is what exactly God did, "And the Word became Flesh."

I also learned today that everything we do must be in the Trinitarian model. To know God the Father, we must know Christ the Son. To know the Son, the Holy Spirit must illumine our hearts to see the beauty of Christ. So Christ is next to us, the Holy Spirit is in us, and we worship the Father who is above us. WOW! Praise the LORD!

God, teach me to be like you! Your thoughts are too wonderful too me to conceive! Thank you for revealing yourself in Your Son by Your Spirit. Thank you for the privelege of getting to know you deeper. Thank you for being a seeking God when I did not seek you (Luke 19:10). In Jesus Name, Amen.

I need to make a big decision. God, grant me strength, for I am weak. Grant me courage, for I am fearful. Grant me wisdom, for I am foolish. Grant love, for I can become bitter. Grant me love for Your Son with all my heart. You carry my burdens (Matt 11:28-30) so I can carry other's burdens. You lay down your life for me so that I can lay down my life. Apart from you I can do nothing (John 15:5). God, your calling me to do an impossible task, this is only something you can do. Help me lean not on my own understanding, and you will make my paths straight.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.

EXALT CHRIST! EXALT CHRIST! EXALT CHRIST! DISPLAY THE BEAUTY OF CHRIST! LIFT UP CHRIST! MAGNIFY CHRIST! WORSHIP CHRIST! EXALT CHRIST! EXALT CHRIST! EXALT CHRIST! MAKE CHRIST KNOWN! MAKE CHRIST SWEET TO THE SOUL! EXALT CHRIST!

I think this is a good start.