The greatest thinkers in history (Augustine, Calvin, Luther) are those who have thought great thoughts about God. These saints had a high view of the sovereignty of God, the Lordship of Christ, the wonderful grace of God bestowed upon us in Christ. May I think great thoughts about God. How weak and fragile can be the little faith that I have. God once again showed me how awesome He is. God answered one of my prayers concerning my dad when I was in sheer desperation. God always come through when theres nothing I COULD DO except ask Him for help. And God surely came through. I have been so busy lately that I feel like I have no time for God. The ironic thing is that I am immersed with ministry, studying about Him during school, yet why do I feel so far? I feel like a Martha, rather than a Mary who sits humbly and receives instruction and teaching from the Lord. I have not been still before the Lord these couple weeks, and its taking a toll on me. Lord, restore my soul I ask. Please refresh me with your peace and I ask for a sense of wholeness again. Please grant me refreshment from your Spirit and help me set aside time for you. Maybe time in the Biola chapel prayer room might be good time to meet with you. Thank you for this day, refresh me, give me eyes to see. In the name of my great God and savior, amen

I have been reading so much that I have not taken time to meditate on the things I have read. I think I am actually getting burned out, time is going so fast. Am I redeeming the time? It is a blessing to read the Bible, commentaries, however, I need to digest all these deep theological truths. Theology as an applied discipline. I need a spiritual retreat and take time to get recharged in thinking about why I do the things I do. Am I really living for God's kingdom? or am I set on advancing my own agenda? Right now I'm so set on finishing school. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be given into you." It still blows my mind that God's kingdom is already here. I need eyes to see, that death has been conquered by Jesus Christ. Do I not realize that if I am in Christ, I have eternal life? One thing that struck me today, God always intiaties what we cannot do for oursleves. In our rebellion, God still sends his son to die on a cross for us. God lifts up in heavenly places with Him, gives us new life. I need to realize if I am in Christ, death must take place to the old man. There has to be a new creation, not of my own willing, but on the grace of God.

Another thought on my mind, VIM
Vision-To contribute to the need of the saints in Philippines
Intent-Doing it
Means-Save a dollar a day
encourage church to do it
Friday offerings
Raise 1800 in one month. It can be done.

Today went by fast. Woke up, read Ephesians commentary. It is hard for me to remember what I read this morning, but that reading time still blessed me. I think the reason I don't remember is because I did not meditate. Ephesians 2 was about God's grace and God's initiative in saving us. The latter verses describe what Christ did at the cross, making a "third race" aboloshing the division that was between Jew and Gentile. Chapter 3 is paul's prayer, that the saints would know the love of God and that Christ would permeate our whole body and soul. That has been on my mind lately. Grace is not only forgiveness, by divine enablement. Grace is fellowship with the Father through the Son by the Spirit. Grace is discipelship under the one whose yoke is easy and burden is light. Grace is walking with Jesus hand in hand. Grace is doing things with Jesus, not by myself. I have been struggling to love my brother, because I try to will it from myself. Rather, I must learn to love my brother by loving Jesus first. When I am loving Christ, hearing his words so clearly, then love for my brother and my enemies will become easy. Why? Because I hear the meekness and love and graciousness of the words of my Lord. My thoughts need to be center on Christ, mastered by Christ, and His presence needs to be real to me. I think this is what walking by the Spirit is. Hearing the words of Christ, penetrating my everythought, and humbling listening to Him rather than willfully rejecting Him and chosing my own way. Even through my failures, Christ is still gracious, unlimited in patience. Love is what conquers lust, the pride of life, selfishness. O Lord, help me see your love once again I pray, In Jesus Name, Amen.

This is what the Holy Spirit said to me....one simple word, "GO". The Christian life is a surrendered life. The church has been infiltrated with false teaching of the American dream, careers, money, fame, sex, comfort, ease. This IS NOT THE CHRISTIAN LIFE. The Christian life is one of a cross, not a Vacation home. Why do I do things? What will overcome the world?
It is the love of God that constrains me. It's about loving Jesus Christ. Loving who He is and what He has done. Give me us clean hands Lord, turn my heart from evil. Forgive me for my dullness, renew me Lord. Help me lay down everything at your feet for the glory of Your name. Take my mind, my time, my education and may it be offered for the glory of your Name.

Help me ACT NOW, Immediately. Seal this prayer Lord
In Jesus Name,
Amen

Ever since the fall, humans beings are spiritually schizo. That is exactly how I feel sometimes. One minute I can feel so in the presence of God, the next minute I am doubting if I am God's elect. What drives these fears away? It's Christ. It's believe in the Lord Jesus Christ who takes away the sin of the world! The Lamb of God who takes away the Sin of the world! And there is no salvation in anyone else, For there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved. Sometimes in my prayers, I do not know how I ought to pray. The heart is deceitful and desparately sick, who can understand it? Lord Jesus, open my eyes. Cure my blindness, have mercy.

"Am I my brother's keeper?" "Do not overcome evil with evil, but overcome evil with good."

I have been harboring bitterness in my heart towards my brother lately, and it shows me how sinful I am. I feel so justified in my anger, and I call it "righteous anger." When he attacks my character, my witness, I attack back with TRUTH. However, when I use truth, I do not use it with love. That is why so many verses in the bible talk about sharing truth with gentleness, grace, and meekness. Knowledge can puff up and Truth without love can tear down rather than build up. He was telling me how actions speak louder than words. And I hate it when he says it because I know he is right. I justify my sin by saying that Christ died for sinners, and I am one of them. When he attacks, I attack back and justify it by saying "I am a sinner as well." This does not excuse me from my own sin, I am abusing grace. I will admit, it is hard to love my brother. Everything in me opposes what he does and his lifestyle. I HATE SIN, but I have not taken the log out of my own eye.

Lord, teach me to love as you loved me. You would have been completely justified in sending me to hell, BUT you died for me anyways. You were merciful to me, a wicked sinner who is ungrateful for all that you do for me. Teach me to show mercy to my enemies. Evil is never overcome by evil, but with love and grace. Thank you, and continue to teach me your precious character. You are Holy, and I praise you for your unlimited patience. Your Name is magnified by who You are. I'm sorry for falling short Lord, help me live consistently with the Gospel. Help me look to the cross again. There is none like you Jesus. Open my eyes and forgive me for my failings.

1 John 2:9-11
The one who says he is in the Light and yet hates his brother is in the darkness until now. 10 The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him. 11 But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

• Go to Israel on Bible Lands Tour before Finishing School
• Go to Greece, Turkey, and Rome on Bible Lands Tour before Finishing School
• Pay off credit card debt!
• Finish School!
• Memorize lots of Scripture!
• Learn Greek
• Learn Tagalog
• Short Terms Mission Trips to Philippines Summer
• Increase my prayer life

The Parable of the Tax Collector and the Pharisee

It was a good reminder from Pastor Ed not to trust in myself. God is absolutely opposed to this. I can find so many parallels with the Pharisee in my life: tithing, knowing Scripture, zealous for the Christian tradition, even looking down on others because they do not acknowledge God. The tax collector on the other hand, all he has is God's mercy to rely upon on. Those who are sanctified by Jesus came to him with absolutely nothing to offer. No Phd, not their religious works, not their devotional prayer life, not knowing all the Bible in the world; but with humility recognizing their unworthiness before a Holy God. God gives grace to humble and is opposed to the proud. How can I humble myself? Recognize that Christ had to go to the cross for MY SINS. The cross shows me how unrighteous I am and how rigtheous HE is. The cross shows me that I am like everyone else in need of God's forgiveness. How can I boast when the Son of God was crucified for me? Help me God, for my heart is deceitful and it so easily blinds me from seeing my true sinful state. You know the hearts of all men, you search the innermost parts and desire truth in the innermost parts. Cleanse me of my hidden faults, that my meditaiton of my heart might be pleasing to you. You alone are righteous. Humble me from my pride. Help me see the cross again. Help me trust in Your unfailing love and Who you are, on the basis of what you have done. There is none like you, make my life count for the glory of Your name. Help me not fear what is to come, for You are righteous. Help me Lord, my heart wanders so far from you so easily. Help me rest in your mercy. In Jesus Name, Amen

God is faithful. Even when I am unfaithful, He always remains unchanging. God has blessed me today with a good day at work. I wish I could've been more in prayer, I am reminded today how idle my thoughts could be while working. I need to train my mind to think God's thoughts after Him and just be humbled by His majesty. My weeks are going by so fast. Last night's Bible study was a blessing, Praise and Worship was great. I think I should come to Friday Bible study more prepared, it seems like we go from idleness to transition to "worship" mode at 730. After Praise and Worship, it goes back to idle mode. Worship should have been down the minute I wake up and the minute I fall alseep. This is true worship. Teach me to think your thoughts after you. I need grace, I need to really look at your wonderful grace at the cross. Teach me and humble me precious Lord.

In Jesus name,
Amen.

1 John 2:8 Now, little children, abide in Him, so that when He appears, we may have confidence and not shrink away from Him in shame at His coming

Today was great! I get to study God's Word all day! I woke up and went to school. I began studying for Friday Bible Study and started studying Ephesians. Afterwards, I proceeded to work. Me and Jae worked on his essay, and it amazes me that persecution is really real, even among his family. After work, went to class. New Testament Survey is always a blessing. What really struck my heart in class was 1 Thessalonians 2. Paul exhorts the believers in Thessalonica with GENTLENESS, loving affection like a mother, and TOUGH LOVE as a father. A balance of humility, meekness, and stength all combined by the grace of God. The believers could not refute Paul's life because he walked with absolute integrity before them. In class, it amazes me to just see glimpses of God's precious truth. I could feel my innermost being lighting up as I began understanding bits of scripture. God's word is truly a light to the soul. O teach me to delight in your Holy Word Father, you alone are righteous, pure, holy. I praise You for all you are doing in my life and continue to do. If your grace has truly been working in my life, you will bring it to completion because YOU ALONE are faithful.

Memory Verse of the day 2 Peter 3:10
"But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, in which the heavens will pass away with a shout, and the elements will be destroyed with intense heat, and the earth and its work will be burned up."

Memorizing Scripture is awesome. It's like chewing bubble gum for the soul. It helps me fight sin. It delivers me from temptation. Today went by fast. I woke up and read 2 Peter, then slept, and woke up again to pump some iron. After I came home, I began reading NT Survey and Unitarian Univeralist. After my readings, I went to go have breakfast with my dad. I need to pray more, with perseverance for his salvation. How do we learn to live life without Jesus Christ? There is a dying world out there not only physically, but spiritually. People walk around not knowing the purpose they are created for. Spiritual problems are damaging, because it is out of the heart that we live. If the heart has nothing to live for, it is absolutely hopeless and dead. Only God can fill a heart. I think I heard it once that our hearts have cross shaped holes in them, and only in Christ does our heart become whole.

After I came home and wrote my epistemology precis. Went to XL, and sub for Mrs. Kim. I should have prayed more before I went to work. The High School kids wear me out. You have to have a lot of patience with them and love them. Being young can limit perspective as they were continually groaning with their assignments. I wish they could see the importance of time and preciousness of Jesus Christ.

Blessing from the Lord: A Job, A home, Getting accepted into the Philosophy program at Talbot.

Father, I pray that all these things will be only be means to loving You more. This should fill my heart with gratitude for your goodness to me. I could be so cold sometimes in how good you are to me. I pray that I would praise you in the good times and bad times. Thank you for this day.
In Jesus name, amen

1 Peter 1:13-15
Therefore, prepare your minds for action, be sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ, as obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called, be holy in all your behavior, because it is written, "You shall be Holy, for I am Holy"

Psalm 90:12
So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom

Today's sermon was from Pastor Boy from the Philippines. Seeing Pastors from the Philippines really blesses my soul. I am always reminded how I need to show hospitality to them because of the great love that has been shown to me when I went. They truly labor in the Lord while receiving little. It is a rebuke and encouragement to see how faithful our brothers are. Life is hard, ministry is hard. The Lord never said that things would be easy, but "through sufferings and tribulations we must enter the Kingdom of God." What is it that overcomes the world? It is our faith, believing the promises of Him who is called Faithful.

For some reason, I have going through spiritual depression. Just seeing the weight of my sin, how proud I can become, and my many failures make me feel so unworthy before God. It is amazing that man can see outward appearances, but the Lord looks at the heart. He sees my every thought, every evil inclination that goes through me. How my heart is so prone to wander to so many idols. "Do not love the world, nor things in the world. For if anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life is not from the Father, but is from the world." I need to see the glory of Jesus Christ and His gospel again and again and again....it is the only place where I attain peace from all my worries, struggles, failures. It is so easy to become cold towards God.

A Great Truth that blessed me today: God is Eternal and I am just a passing by, will I bring glory to the One that is already and forever glorious in my lifetime?

So Lord, teach me to number my days, that I may present to you a heart of wisdom.

Philemon 1:4-6
I thank my God always, always making mention of you in my prayers, because I hear of the love and of the faith which you have towards the Lord Jesus and towards all the saints, and I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ sake.

Today was a blessing. God answered my prayer by giving me energy to work all day. God is teaching me to be a good steward of His money. Setting aside money systematically. Meeting with Jae Woo was also a blessing. Talking about Christ, our hope, our calling, how God uses weak vessels was a blessing to my soul.

THE SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES FOR THE PURPOSE OF GODLINESS

How I am going to apply these disciplines to my life

Disciplined Bible Reading: Begin the day with prayer, reading one book of the New Testament/Old Testament, Meditate, look for at least one application from the text. Reading without meditation/prayer is like water running through a pipe.

Disciplined Scripture Memorization: Memorize at least 1 Scripture a day from morning readings, post it on Y Min

Disciplined Prayer: Close morning devotion with prayer, (afternoon prayer)?, close the evening in thanks with prayer for all God's blessings, praises, supplication for family and friends, personal needs.

Disciplined Management of Time: How can I fine tune my use of time? Avoid wasting time checking email constantly, internet, being purposeful in going on my computer rather than mindless. Write it down on my planner

Disciplined Giving: These are the principles I want to follow. Everytime I receive money either from parents or work, (1) Pray over the money and acknolwede it is God's money. Ask God for wisdom to use HIS MONEY wisely (2) Set aside what the Lord has told me to give for sunday (3) Save a small portion (4) pay back debt.

Disciplined Evangelism-Evangelistic tuesday night fellowships, ask God for opportunitys to share, identify unbelieving family and friends, spend time with unbelieving friends.

Disciplined Serving-Sunday School, Friday Bible Study, Sierra View, Praise and Worship, Tuesday Night Hangouts.

Other Miscellaneous disciplines-Disciplined studying, excercise, eating (breakfast, lunch, dinner), disciplined learning language, disciplined fasting, Disciplined journaling, Disciplined Solitude

And to end the night.......

Titus 2:11-14
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, looking to the blessed hope and the appearing the glory of our Great God and Savior, Christ Jesus, who gave Himself for us to redeemed us from every lawless deed, and to purify himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.

Isaiah 44:24
Thus says the Lord, Your Redeemer, and the one who formed you from the womb, "I, the Lord, am the maker of all things, stretching out the heavens by Myself and spreading out the earth all alone."

Jeremiah 32:17
Ah Lord God! Behold You have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outsteched arm! Nothing is too difficult for you

Acts 1:8
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest parts of the earth

2 Timothy 2:24-25
But the Lord's Bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, gentley correcting those in opposition, perhaps if God may grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of love and power and self-discipline

2 timothy 4:3-5
For the time will come when men will not endure sound doctrine, but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate teachers in accordance with their own desires and turn their ears away from the truth, and turn aside to myths. But you, Be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

Free books are great! I downloaded Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life and it was a huge blessing! Listening to that while pumping iron at the gym kills two birds with one stone! I was already fired up to read the Bible again, Meditate, and Pray. It showed me how important the word of God is to a believers soul, how the Bible only reaches the heart through meditation, and an effective prayer life can come when we just DO IT! We also need to pray God's Word and His thoughts, conforming our will to His. The goal of the disciplines is Christ-likeness. I need to see that this is who I am going to become and conform to. Godliness is the goal. All great saints were disciplined men. IF Jesus, knew God's Word, how much more do I. If Jesus, spent time with the Father, how much do I. If Jesus meditated, how much more do I. If Jesus was disciplined, how much more do I need to be disciplined. One effective tactic I learned in prayer is that KNOWING that GOD HEARS. Too many times we do not pray because we think that God is not going to answer. However, God sometimes answer in ways we do not expect. Today, I just spent the day reading Anselm's Cur Deus Homo, Why the God-man? It took me almost all day! I began at 11:00 and ended around 3. Lord, teach me to pray and apply your word.

Today's message was really rebuking to me. It shows me how that the word of God is living and active. The Word confronts error and sin. Pastor Ed preached about walking to closely to sin. "Take heed, lest you fall." I really could identify with Samson. He was so strong in the Lord, however he was so easily lured away by the world. He was God's anointed, yet he wandered from God's will. Pastor Ed said something really interesting that struck within my heart, he had "Power without purity, strength without humility." Wow. How hard is it to find a man who has this healthy balance? The message reminded me that Sin is very enticing, and that even the best of us can fall into its trap. It reminded me to flee from sin and do not entertain it. But to lay aside every weight that is hindering me from my commitment to God. Pastor Ed also said, "Samson's strength lay not within his hair, or nazirite vow, but with his commitment to the Lord." I know what I need to do, however I am so weak. I can easily justify my sin ten thousand ways, and can be easily be blinded. How stubborn I can be. For grace Lord, I need it.