I need to make a big decision. God, grant me strength, for I am weak. Grant me courage, for I am fearful. Grant me wisdom, for I am foolish. Grant love, for I can become bitter. Grant me love for Your Son with all my heart. You carry my burdens (Matt 11:28-30) so I can carry other's burdens. You lay down your life for me so that I can lay down my life. Apart from you I can do nothing (John 15:5). God, your calling me to do an impossible task, this is only something you can do. Help me lean not on my own understanding, and you will make my paths straight.

In Jesus Name,
Amen.

EXALT CHRIST! EXALT CHRIST! EXALT CHRIST! DISPLAY THE BEAUTY OF CHRIST! LIFT UP CHRIST! MAGNIFY CHRIST! WORSHIP CHRIST! EXALT CHRIST! EXALT CHRIST! EXALT CHRIST! MAKE CHRIST KNOWN! MAKE CHRIST SWEET TO THE SOUL! EXALT CHRIST!

I think this is a good start.

Fear not, For I Am with You
Be Not Dismayed, For I Am Your God;
I will strengthen You, I will help You
I will uphold you by my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10)

I preached my first sermon this past sunday. I was terrified. I was scared. How can God use a sinner like me? Does he not know the things that go on within my evil heart? I hate my sin. But I look to the Savior. I look to the One interceding on my behalf. I was so anxious. I didn't know what was going to happen. But during the time, God's grace was sufficient for the task. All I wanted to do on the pulpit was to exalt Christ (Phil. 1:21). I just wanted to shift the focus from humans, to look at Christ and him crucified again. This should be the philosophy of my ministry: to exalt Christ and make him known. God came through by the prayers of the church and me being on my knees throughout the whole week. Before I walked onto the pulpit, I was tellling myself, "Someone is already there. The Holy Spirit is the true minister of the Pulpit." This really comforted me that I am just a vessel. The pulpit belongs to the Holy Spirit. I just have to be faithful to the text and trust God to work on the hearts of people.

I see the danger of pride though...it can be settle. O how I need to be aware of this evil and cast it away in Jesus name. The kind remarks of people can really puff you up in pride. Another princple I should learn from is to deflect attention from myself, to the Savior. Jesus, help me do this! May lal the glamor, fame, and exaltation be directed towards you! Who am I compared to your infinite worth. Impress upon my mind your inifinte worth. Help me see that YOU ARE A BIG GOD, not a small god that is made in our own image!

Thanks for coming through, like you always do. Thank you for your faithfulness. Forgive me for my weak faith Lord. Please take my weakness and display your strength. Take my loaves and multiply them. Help me be a humble servant to you. Help me be found in you, not having a righteousness of my own, but a rightheousness of Christ. In Jesus Name, Amen.

I am so scared, I do not know what is going to happen tomorrow. Preparing to preach has been an emotional roller coaster for me this week. I have been praying throughout the week that I would rest in Christ. Out of all weeks, I was assigned to preach before my finals week with all the papers and exams. However, I spent most of my time thinking and chewing on my text. I spent all day today preparing my manuscript, but I do not think I will use it tomorrow..because I want to speak from my heart. I'm really nervous and excited at the same time to see what God is going to do tomorrow. I find my comfort in this, that God will be exalted no matter what. God uses even the wicked to exalt Him. For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy" and "I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."

Father in Heaven,

I am so nervous. I am actually trembling. I am scared and fearful because of my indwelling sin. You have called me to do a holy task, and I feel so unworthy. Please help me look to Christ, not myself. Please help me to be faithful to Your Word. Help Me trust in the power of your Word. Help me Exalt the Risen Savior. Help me make the people say, "What a Marvelous Saviour!" I pray that your Holy Spirit would give me the right words to use. Help me not rely on my own understanding, but acknwoledge you in all that I do, and you will make my paths straight. Lord, comfort me. Give me peace. I do not want to go up there if your presence will not go with me.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

I am so excited to preach sunday. I have this wierd feeling of nervousness, passion, peace, joy all compiled into one big emotion. I'm preaching on 1 Corinthians 1:18-31. I just want to boast in Christ and Him crucified. I want to glory in the Son of God this weekend. God stir in my heart to exalt your Son. Help me trust your Holy Spirit to work in my heart and the hearts of your people. Help me marvel at your greatness. BE MAGNIFIED!

In Emotionally Healthy Spiritually, the author argues that taking a Sabbath is essential for a healthy spiritual life. I agree. I am always thinking about buidling relationships, finishing papers, paying bills, preparing sermons, reading for school; rather than resting. The author gives four principles:

1. Stop
2. Rest
3. Delight
4. Contemplate

How does this look like in my life? I think ideally my day of rest should be Friday. What refreshes me?

1. Going for a run listening to Keller
2. Being away from people
3. Napping
4. Reading my Bible without any constraints (teaching, homework, sunday school preparation)
5. Having my phone off.
6. Consciously telling myself, everything is going to be OK because God is in control
7. Going to a Bookstore
8. Reading in a Park and playing with the duckies.
9. Meditate in the love of Jesus and refreshing my heart in the gospel.
10. Eating Cheesecake and Reeses Pieces Baskin Robins 10000 calorie sunday
11. Drinking some Boba
12. Listening to Jazz

Lord,
Forgive me for idolizing work and not taking your command seriously to rest. Teach me to practice these things.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

Alex: When are you going to become a believer?
Family Member: When you start acting like one.

Alex: What are you going to say before God when you stand before Him?
Family Member: Maybe you did or did not exist? I love your Christ but I hate your Christians.

Thoughts
1. I do need to live a better life in the Home. However, I praise God that Jesus is the One who died for my sins. It is the grace of God that saves me, not my perfection. "For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners."

2. "Maybe you did or did not exist?"
Maybe God's Response: I gave you Creation, the Sun, the Stars, the Moon, Animals, Human Creativity, Morality, Truth, Goodness, Beauty, my Son, His Resurrection, My Word, my children who were martyred, the apostles, the church, your conscience. It is not a question of evidence, but of unbelief.

3. I love your Christ, I hate your Christians
Jesus: "Then he will answer them saying, "Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it one of the least of these, you did not do it to me" And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." (Matt. 25:45-46)