I am ashamed of myself because of my selfishness and my need for comfort. I cannot help thinking that a million people are homeless right now, thousands are orphaned, kids are sold into sex-trafficking and slavery, murderers running wild because there is no food; absolute chaos is going on in Haiti right now. John said that one of the enemies of the Christian is the world. The World entices us and lures us to sleep. I see this reality happening right now. I am worried about my school debt, personal comfort, and future when 200,000 people have just perished. Is there not something wrong with me? I read my Bible and Jesus said that those who deny themselves are his. Those who "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness" will be blessed. My heart is once again heavy because I see how the world is making us sleep to the disasters and the reality of suffering right now. People are more concerned about a friday night party, relationship, personal comfort, education, family, friends, and many other things that distract us from the Kingdom. God said that knowing Him means showing mercy to the oppressed, clothing the poor, feeding the hungry, defending the alien, and breaking the yoke of wickedness (Isaiah 58). This is what true religion looks like. To be honest, I think I have let many things distract me from God, i.e. future comfort, education, even the church itself. In my heart of hearts, I know what we are doing right now is NOT REAL CHRISTIANITY. This is not it, it's not consistent with what the Bible teaches. Somehow, we have managed to twist the Scriptures in a way to make our lives seek comfort and pleasure rather embrace the world of Calvary. My heart is feeling like I need to go to Haiti right now, I don't know why, but the desire is there. It's going to take a long time to rebuild there. I don't know if God is changing my heart for the Philippines mission trip, and is redirecting my heart to Haiti. Lord, please guide me. Forgive me Father for being enticed by the world and the pleasures of this world. Open my eyes to see reality as you would see it. In Jesus name, Amen