I praise God for the godly people he puts in my life. They call me out on sin, exhort me to love Jesus, and live in light of His Second Coming. Thank you for encouraging me to love Christ more and seek him in spite of my sin church family.

The greatest duty of man and my soul is the worship of God, to love the Lord my God with all my heart and soul and mind and strength.

1. Get index cards for scripture memorization.

I see glimpses of the love of God, and my heart rings with joy. I wish for a more fuller experience of this joy. Jesus prayed that we might have joy. J.I. Packer in Knowing God also makes an interesting insight: that adoptions is a greater blessing than the grace of justification. I would agree. Adoption shows reconciliation. To know that God is your Father is the greatest truth a human can know. Jesus says, not everyone who says to me "Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven", but those who do the will of my Father. What keeps us from sin is that God's children do not want to displease their father. Are there diobedient children? Sure, but a loving Father will discipline them. God disciplines me for my good. I look back at all my shortcomings, and it has brought me to the realization that God had a plan all along. He continually picked on my heart, showing me my sin and convicting me of my hypocrisy. I cannot run from God. The psalmist prayed, where shall I go, where can I flee from your presence? Coming to an understanding of the Fatherhood of God has several implications. (1) Children act like their parents. Am I acting like my Heavenly Father? Do I hate sin like he hated it (Crucifying His Son on a Cross)? (2) Children talk to their parents. I have neglected to talk to my Heavenly Father maybe because this reflects my own relationship with my earthly father. I have never really have deep and long conversations with my earthly dad because of neglect and maybe I have projected this view on my Heavenly Father. I have to realize that God is good, he gives good gifts to those who ask of Him? How can my heavenly Father give poison water if I ask of him? Even if I cry and bicker that I do not get my own way. This leads to the next truth: My Father is completely good. God will do nothing to harm me. He loves me. I doubt this many times, and I struggle to see whether I am really a child of God. I feel like the child who came back to his father and said, "I am not even worthy to be called your son, please make me one of your hired servants." But as Jesus illustrates, the Father picks up his tunic and runs to the Son and says, "Kill the fattened calf, this son of mine was dead and now is alive!" He also put the robe on him, gave him a ring, and there were angels in heaven rejoicing because the Son had come back to the Father. God please assure me of your love again, I have strayed far from you, but through your goodness, affliction I have seen, but now I seek to keep Your Word by your grace and Spirit.

The key to all knowledge and wisdom is knowing God through Jesus Christ our Lord. To know God, is to know Christ. To know God, is to fellowship in the completely happy and joyful Trinity. To know God, is to lay down's one life for Christ. As Christ layed down his life in obedience to the Father, we lay down our lives in obedience in Christ, sharing in the triune God.I see glimpses of glory, yet my sin holds me back. True saints seek God with their whole heart, and I feel like my heart is divided at times. The idols that I must constantly put to death is being in control of my future, the exaltation of my education, comfortability, an easy life rather than a cross bearing life. Why do people do not follow Jesus today? Because they have accepted forgiveness of sins but not Lordship and obedience to take up the cross. Lord, remove this log from my eye. I see it, but I am blind to my own complacency. The great saints of the past knew that they needed your grace to overcome, and I do to. My heart wanders everyday from you, yet you pull me back through sermons, your Word, prayer, the church. God, how can I lead your people if I do not lead myself? How do I tell people about your sacrifice if I have not sacrificed myself? The cross seems burdensome to tell you the truth. It is scary to know that You demand my life. This is fear driven obedience. Would you help me look past the cross and see the resurrection? the future glory? I get so scared sometimes because I KNOW what you demand of me, but I do not know this with my heart. I am still hesistant to trust You, because I am afraid of the cross I must bear. The criticisms, the mockings, maybe even beatings and tortutings. Who would not be afraid? But you did it. You endured criticsms, mockings, beatings, crucifixion. Why would you do all this? Because you had hope. You looked pass these things. Help me look past these things as well and see the glories of heaven. "Set my mind on things above, not on things on this earth" "Our citezenship is heaven" "You love Him even though you have not seen Him" God, would you please relieve my fears, and renew my trust in Your perfect plan? I need more grace. Draw me near to You. My heart is prone to wander. Help me pursue delight and satisfaction in you. Satisfy me with your steadfast love again. Give me eyes to see the bountiful blessings you have poured out in my life. I love you Lord. Help me show it. God, remove the hypocrisy and my Phariseesism from my life. I pray this in your risen Son's name, Amen.

Listening to Crazy Love by Francis Chan has been really encouraging to me. The book addresses lukewarm Christianity. Lukewarm Christianity disgusts God. I want with all my heart to not fall into this trap. I see it in the church, and I see it in my own life. It is way to easy to be comfortable at church, and think that your ok. Yea, I don't drink and have immoral relationships, but how does my life look any different from a moral unbeliever? Do I give radically? Do I love radically? Does my life reflect the awesomeness of God. I want to be renewed and zealous for the Lord. I want to be like King Hezekiah, who destroyed all the high places and "did what was right in the sight of the Lord." The Psalmists prays, "With my whole heart I seek you, let me not wander from your commandments." God, you know my complacency. Only You can change my heart when I see your Majesty again. Help me think great thoughts about you.

I have been so tired serving in ministry that I have neglected my relationship with God. Today, I am going to take the day off and just hang out with God. I'm going to read His word, pray, read some encouraging devotionals and just enjoy the day. I am not going to be serving, and I need to find a place of rest for my soul. Jesus withdrew to the mountain to pray in the mornings and evenings, how much more do I when I am a sinner! "Satisfy me with your steadfast love"