The key to all knowledge and wisdom is knowing God through Jesus Christ our Lord. To know God, is to know Christ. To know God, is to fellowship in the completely happy and joyful Trinity. To know God, is to lay down's one life for Christ. As Christ layed down his life in obedience to the Father, we lay down our lives in obedience in Christ, sharing in the triune God.I see glimpses of glory, yet my sin holds me back. True saints seek God with their whole heart, and I feel like my heart is divided at times. The idols that I must constantly put to death is being in control of my future, the exaltation of my education, comfortability, an easy life rather than a cross bearing life. Why do people do not follow Jesus today? Because they have accepted forgiveness of sins but not Lordship and obedience to take up the cross. Lord, remove this log from my eye. I see it, but I am blind to my own complacency. The great saints of the past knew that they needed your grace to overcome, and I do to. My heart wanders everyday from you, yet you pull me back through sermons, your Word, prayer, the church. God, how can I lead your people if I do not lead myself? How do I tell people about your sacrifice if I have not sacrificed myself? The cross seems burdensome to tell you the truth. It is scary to know that You demand my life. This is fear driven obedience. Would you help me look past the cross and see the resurrection? the future glory? I get so scared sometimes because I KNOW what you demand of me, but I do not know this with my heart. I am still hesistant to trust You, because I am afraid of the cross I must bear. The criticisms, the mockings, maybe even beatings and tortutings. Who would not be afraid? But you did it. You endured criticsms, mockings, beatings, crucifixion. Why would you do all this? Because you had hope. You looked pass these things. Help me look past these things as well and see the glories of heaven. "Set my mind on things above, not on things on this earth" "Our citezenship is heaven" "You love Him even though you have not seen Him" God, would you please relieve my fears, and renew my trust in Your perfect plan? I need more grace. Draw me near to You. My heart is prone to wander. Help me pursue delight and satisfaction in you. Satisfy me with your steadfast love again. Give me eyes to see the bountiful blessings you have poured out in my life. I love you Lord. Help me show it. God, remove the hypocrisy and my Phariseesism from my life. I pray this in your risen Son's name, Amen.