I haven't blogged in awhile, and I need to start being disciplined in this. I have been praying that God would make me whole. These past few months have been a dry spell and a season of darkness for me. I have caught the "martha" syndrome of serving, and its been taking a toll on my spiritual life. Reading at some points have become burdensome to me. I just have to remind myself that Christ has done all the work, and I need to rest in his finished work. I cannot anything to his gospel and God does not accept me on the basis of my service, but through the death and resurrection of his son. I need to see the beauty of Jesus Christ again, PLEASE HOLY SPIRIT, magnify CHRIST ONCE AGAIN in my life. Help me rest in Him and help me lean on Him.

I have also been hardened by my sin towards my brother. I praise the Lord for church members who can call you out on your sin. I have to be more Christ-like towards my brother. Jesus did not retaliate when on the cross. I retialiate when I am being revilved, and this is not good. Help me change in this as well Lord.

I was also blessed by the funeral service. It is better to be at the house of mourning than the hosue of pleasure. You see the reality of death, however, Christ has conquered the grave. Hope becomes so real when you are faced with death. I praise God for how the DeGuzman family is dealing with their loss. God is a God of hope and comfort. That funeral service also teached me to love my mother and father while they are still alive. Honor your father and mother. Tita Lily told me to treasure them, good sound godly wisdom.

If anything I want right now, is to be whole again. I have been seeking satisfaction in other things, and I want to taste again the goodness of the Lord. I need to persevere through this dark dry season and wait upon the Lord to renew me. God, help me. Renew me. I keep praying this, and I hope to see a change and revival in my life. Give me a renewed passion to serve you and love you with JOY, not DUTY. Its been dutiful and I have lost sight of my rest in You. I ask this in Jesus name, Amen.