"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."
I don't know where this quote came from, but it is an excellent quote and lesson for pastors in the ministry. I have been a Christian for almost ten years now and serving God's people for over six years. I have been preaching publicly for over five years at CFBC. I have completed two master degrees (M.A. Philosophy, M.Div.) from both prestigious seminaries (Talbot, TMS). I thought that all God's people needed was good expository preaching to build the Church (1 Tim. 4:13, 2 Tim. 4:1-5). Don't get me wrong, I love preaching and I believe that preaching is foundational to building a healthy church.
However, public ministry of the Word cannot be divorced from the private ministry of the Word (Acts 5:42). In other words, God's people need to be exhorted with the Word publicly from the pulpit and privately in the kitchen of my own home. The lesson I am learning time and time again is that "people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." If the apostle Paul were to rephrase it, he would say,
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)
If pastors could retrieve this important principle in the ministry, I believe our churches (included the Church I serve) would be healthier and holier. So here are some principles I have learned and am still learning in showing God's people you care for them:
1. Get to Know People
One of the criticisms I have received in my ministry (to my shame) is that I don't know people. I can come across as intimidating or having it all together that people cannot relate to me. I try to give biblical counsel and instructions before ever listening to what is really going on in people's lives. I need to know people by name and not just hang out with people who I am comfortable with.
2. Pray for People
Again (to my shame), I need to be lifting God's people up in prayer by name. How can a Shepherd shepherd his people if he is not praying for his people? In most of Paul's epistles, Paul begins his letters by thanking God for believers and praying for their spiritual growth, so that they would walk in a manner that pleases and glorifies God (See Col. 1:1-14).
3. Open Your Home to People
Another way to care for people is to open your home to people. Biblical hospitality literally means a "love of strangers" (Rom. 12:13, Heb. 13:2). My home should be open to both Christians and non-Christians alike. I am glad I married a wife who loves being hospitable to people. One of the qualifications of an elder is that he is hospitable (1 Tim. 3:2).
4. Go Out of Your Way to Meet People
I'm learning that people appreciate you more when you are willing to sacrifice your time and day to meet them. Meet them at a public place like a Starbucks and just get together to see how they are doing. Before I go meet people, I pray that I would be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (Jam. 1:19). Listen well and pray for them.
5. Be Available for People
Another weakness of mine is that people think that I am too busy for them. Of course, pastoral ministry has a lot of demands (preaching, counseling, visitation, administration, praying, reading, teaching) along with personal family commitments. But pastors do not have a normal schedule like other working professionals. Pastors can set their own hours and they must discipline themselves to make themselves available to people. I need to let my people know that I am available and am willing to make time for them.
6. Get to the Heart of People
People with problems first have heart problems. What I mean is that people who are often struggling with a particular sin, are dealing with deeper root issues within their own hearts. A man who drinks a lot may drink because he is lonely. A person who watches pornography may watch because he has relational problems in the home or with other people. A person that eats a lot may be eating out of depression. A pastor must learn to get to the heart level and see what is really going on by asking good questions.
7. Affirm Your Love for People
People need to know that you love them. Not only in action, but in word as well. A man can serve and provide for his wife well, but the wife may feel unloved because he never verbalizes his love for her. In the same way, God's people need to know that you love them not only with your actions, but with your words. Humble yourselves and tell people you love them from the heart.
I wrote this because I have failed in all these areas to care for people, especially God's sheep. I ask the Lord's forgiveness for not caring more for God's sheep. By God's grace, I hope to be a good pastor someday by showing and verbalizing my love for God's people. I want God's people to know that I care for them.
