I have been truly thankful for what God has been doing in my life. I want so many things that I can think that will satisfy my soul, but God does not grant those things to me because He knows that I may make those things ultimate. I know God is not granting certain desires of mine because He is sanctifying me, drawing me near to Him to a greater need of His Son. I have been trained to seek broken cisterns my whole life, and I still struggle thinking that these things will satisfy, but the Heavenly Father is removing those things in my life to make me drink deep of the wells of living water. O Christ, my sufficiency. Make the true in my heart. It is painful what God takes away, but I know that He has a good reason for it...because he is Good. A loving Heavenly Father gives good and perfect gifts to His children. Abba, your my Abba now because you have sent your Son into the world to make me your son by adoption. I am redeemed by your blood, justified in your Son, no condemnation I dread. Help me live out this glorious heavenly calling.

Galatians 5:1 For freedom in Chris has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

I have been reading some articles for my Spiritual Formation class and came across some interesting insights. Why does God feel so far away sometimes even when we seek Him and pray? What I learned is that God is at work even at times that you feel distant from Him. He is most near because He is wanting you to grow into a greater level of spiritual maturity. When we first get converted, we are in love with God. As our walk progresses, God takes away the spiritual baby bottle and starts teaching us that we need to grow up and believe Him by faith even when we do not feel his presence. God is teaching us that we need to love Him for who He is, not just for His benefits that he gives us. Moreover, he teaches us to wait upon Him and be patient with whatever He is leading too. Praise God for my spiritual formation class.

Sometimes I feel like quitting. I am just overwhelmed with how my walk is suppose to be. There are so many inconsistencies in my life that does not glorify the Lord. Ministry can be rough and take a toll on you. There are so many needs to be met, it is overwhelming. My heart is hurting and broken inside because I struggle with guilt that I am a failure and not leading well. The Lord was a man aquainted with sorrows, yet without sin. I thank him that He did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Lord, would you heal my heart. It's hurting right now. People place such high standards and expectations that I will never seem to live up too. I am a failure, and I am glad that you can use my failures for your glory. Please remove sin in my life. Please remove religious hypocrisy, so that men might glorify my Father who is in heaven. Forgive my iniquity that I would teach sinners and transgressors your way. I pray for your mercy, your cleansing and healing Lord.

The Gospel is Jesus Christ himself. The person and work of Christ. His sacrifice.

I really hate feeling up and down, and unhealthy spiritually. The root causes of spiritual depression is (1) unbelief and (2) unconfessed sin in my life. Psalm 139 teaches me to examine my heart, and ask God to help me forsake any wicked way in me. I have been really burdened with ministry. I am always studying so that I could teach, but I feel like I never have time just to get away and read my bible just for my enjoyment. I come home saturday nights feeling exhausted and all I want to do is not think, and rest. I feel like I'm always serving and it is hard to find rest. I may even think that just because I'm serving, I think I am right with God. God is not going to look at works to be accepted by him, because my works are filthy rags. He is going to look if I trusted his Son and his great salvation.

Romans 6:14