The greatest thinkers in history (Augustine, Calvin, Luther) are those who have thought great thoughts about God. These saints had a high view of the sovereignty of God, the Lordship of Christ, the wonderful grace of God bestowed upon us in Christ. May I think great thoughts about God. How weak and fragile can be the little faith that I have. God once again showed me how awesome He is. God answered one of my prayers concerning my dad when I was in sheer desperation. God always come through when theres nothing I COULD DO except ask Him for help. And God surely came through. I have been so busy lately that I feel like I have no time for God. The ironic thing is that I am immersed with ministry, studying about Him during school, yet why do I feel so far? I feel like a Martha, rather than a Mary who sits humbly and receives instruction and teaching from the Lord. I have not been still before the Lord these couple weeks, and its taking a toll on me. Lord, restore my soul I ask. Please refresh me with your peace and I ask for a sense of wholeness again. Please grant me refreshment from your Spirit and help me set aside time for you. Maybe time in the Biola chapel prayer room might be good time to meet with you. Thank you for this day, refresh me, give me eyes to see. In the name of my great God and savior, amen

I have been reading so much that I have not taken time to meditate on the things I have read. I think I am actually getting burned out, time is going so fast. Am I redeeming the time? It is a blessing to read the Bible, commentaries, however, I need to digest all these deep theological truths. Theology as an applied discipline. I need a spiritual retreat and take time to get recharged in thinking about why I do the things I do. Am I really living for God's kingdom? or am I set on advancing my own agenda? Right now I'm so set on finishing school. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be given into you." It still blows my mind that God's kingdom is already here. I need eyes to see, that death has been conquered by Jesus Christ. Do I not realize that if I am in Christ, I have eternal life? One thing that struck me today, God always intiaties what we cannot do for oursleves. In our rebellion, God still sends his son to die on a cross for us. God lifts up in heavenly places with Him, gives us new life. I need to realize if I am in Christ, death must take place to the old man. There has to be a new creation, not of my own willing, but on the grace of God.

Another thought on my mind, VIM
Vision-To contribute to the need of the saints in Philippines
Intent-Doing it
Means-Save a dollar a day
encourage church to do it
Friday offerings
Raise 1800 in one month. It can be done.

Today went by fast. Woke up, read Ephesians commentary. It is hard for me to remember what I read this morning, but that reading time still blessed me. I think the reason I don't remember is because I did not meditate. Ephesians 2 was about God's grace and God's initiative in saving us. The latter verses describe what Christ did at the cross, making a "third race" aboloshing the division that was between Jew and Gentile. Chapter 3 is paul's prayer, that the saints would know the love of God and that Christ would permeate our whole body and soul. That has been on my mind lately. Grace is not only forgiveness, by divine enablement. Grace is fellowship with the Father through the Son by the Spirit. Grace is discipelship under the one whose yoke is easy and burden is light. Grace is walking with Jesus hand in hand. Grace is doing things with Jesus, not by myself. I have been struggling to love my brother, because I try to will it from myself. Rather, I must learn to love my brother by loving Jesus first. When I am loving Christ, hearing his words so clearly, then love for my brother and my enemies will become easy. Why? Because I hear the meekness and love and graciousness of the words of my Lord. My thoughts need to be center on Christ, mastered by Christ, and His presence needs to be real to me. I think this is what walking by the Spirit is. Hearing the words of Christ, penetrating my everythought, and humbling listening to Him rather than willfully rejecting Him and chosing my own way. Even through my failures, Christ is still gracious, unlimited in patience. Love is what conquers lust, the pride of life, selfishness. O Lord, help me see your love once again I pray, In Jesus Name, Amen.

This is what the Holy Spirit said to me....one simple word, "GO". The Christian life is a surrendered life. The church has been infiltrated with false teaching of the American dream, careers, money, fame, sex, comfort, ease. This IS NOT THE CHRISTIAN LIFE. The Christian life is one of a cross, not a Vacation home. Why do I do things? What will overcome the world?
It is the love of God that constrains me. It's about loving Jesus Christ. Loving who He is and what He has done. Give me us clean hands Lord, turn my heart from evil. Forgive me for my dullness, renew me Lord. Help me lay down everything at your feet for the glory of Your name. Take my mind, my time, my education and may it be offered for the glory of your Name.

Help me ACT NOW, Immediately. Seal this prayer Lord
In Jesus Name,
Amen

Ever since the fall, humans beings are spiritually schizo. That is exactly how I feel sometimes. One minute I can feel so in the presence of God, the next minute I am doubting if I am God's elect. What drives these fears away? It's Christ. It's believe in the Lord Jesus Christ who takes away the sin of the world! The Lamb of God who takes away the Sin of the world! And there is no salvation in anyone else, For there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved. Sometimes in my prayers, I do not know how I ought to pray. The heart is deceitful and desparately sick, who can understand it? Lord Jesus, open my eyes. Cure my blindness, have mercy.

"Am I my brother's keeper?" "Do not overcome evil with evil, but overcome evil with good."

I have been harboring bitterness in my heart towards my brother lately, and it shows me how sinful I am. I feel so justified in my anger, and I call it "righteous anger." When he attacks my character, my witness, I attack back with TRUTH. However, when I use truth, I do not use it with love. That is why so many verses in the bible talk about sharing truth with gentleness, grace, and meekness. Knowledge can puff up and Truth without love can tear down rather than build up. He was telling me how actions speak louder than words. And I hate it when he says it because I know he is right. I justify my sin by saying that Christ died for sinners, and I am one of them. When he attacks, I attack back and justify it by saying "I am a sinner as well." This does not excuse me from my own sin, I am abusing grace. I will admit, it is hard to love my brother. Everything in me opposes what he does and his lifestyle. I HATE SIN, but I have not taken the log out of my own eye.

Lord, teach me to love as you loved me. You would have been completely justified in sending me to hell, BUT you died for me anyways. You were merciful to me, a wicked sinner who is ungrateful for all that you do for me. Teach me to show mercy to my enemies. Evil is never overcome by evil, but with love and grace. Thank you, and continue to teach me your precious character. You are Holy, and I praise you for your unlimited patience. Your Name is magnified by who You are. I'm sorry for falling short Lord, help me live consistently with the Gospel. Help me look to the cross again. There is none like you Jesus. Open my eyes and forgive me for my failings.

1 John 2:9-11
The one who says he is in the Light and yet hates his brother is in the darkness until now. 10 The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him. 11 But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

• Go to Israel on Bible Lands Tour before Finishing School
• Go to Greece, Turkey, and Rome on Bible Lands Tour before Finishing School
• Pay off credit card debt!
• Finish School!
• Memorize lots of Scripture!
• Learn Greek
• Learn Tagalog
• Short Terms Mission Trips to Philippines Summer
• Increase my prayer life